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8 things you definitely won't see at the Royal Wedding

We’re just assuming Gerry Adams and Jedward won’t be in attendance.
May 15th 2018, 9:00 PM 7,102 1

THE ROYAL WEDDING is finally happening on Saturday with Meghan Markle set to marry Prince Harry. While yes it does feel like this event has been dragged out, we can appreciate that getting a wedding organised in less than 6 months is quite the achievement.

Source: Alastair Grant

We expect you will see the normal things at the Royal Wedding such as an amazing dress, some beautiful flowers and fawning fans. However, here’s 8 things you probably won’t see at it.

1. Spicebags

There are many things that have not made it across the Irish Sea and spicebags are one of them. While the food will probably be exceptional at the afters, you’ll be hard pressed to find a single spice bag in the vicinity which is just tragic.

2. The Queen losing her nut to Mr Brightside

We can neither confirm nor deny if the Queen actually likes Mr Brightside however since it’s questionable if she’ll actually be at the afters, we’re never going to know for sure.

3. Gerry Adams

While I would pay a ridiculous amount of money to see Gerry at the Royal Wedding, the likelihood of that happening is slim to none. We can always dream.

4. Jedward performing ‘Waterline’ for the first dance.

While it is unclear who Meghan and Harry have as their band we can confirm that Jeward will not be performing their second Eurovision entry from 2012 which is a pity. It would make a very romantic first dance.

Source: DPA/PA Images

5. Melania Trump’s gigantic hat

The Trumps have not been invited to the Royal Wedding which means the gigantic hat that Melania wore during Macron’s visit to the White House sadly will remain on the other side of the Atlantic.

6. The Irish national team.

Despite having a pretty clear schedule as a result of not being in the World Cup this summer, we can confirm that the Irish football team will not be in attendance. This means that Martin O’Neill and Roy Keane won’t be the best men, ring bearers or bridesmaids, much to everyone’s disappointment. I think Roy would look beautiful with a flower crown.


7. The Irish border.

With the tensions around the Irish border ever increasing, you would think Meghan and Harry would want to relieve them by giving the border an invite. Sadly this invite did not materialise as the couple claimed it was too difficult to fit a 499 km border into the wedding venue. A likely story.

8. A big bag of Prazsky cans.

We’re just presuming that the Royal family would expect a bit more from the Royal Wedding reception than Prazsky. They’d probably want something a little more expensive like a craft beer or a can of Kopparberg.

Source: Kopparberg

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Rachel O'Neill


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