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CERTAIN DOOM

9 pieces of proof that your TV is out to destroy your relationship

We’ve got the proof.

WE LOVE TELEVISION here at DailyEdge.ie, so we really hate what we’re about to say.

Unfortunately, your TV is out to destroy your relationship.  Think about it – you’ll probably agree..

Still not with us?  Let us break it down for you.

Sport

Unless you are very lucky, it is unlikely that both people in your relationship are into sport.

This is a problem.

Many sports lovers would like to spend all their spare time watching matches and the like, and if they do then their other half will be maligned, if they don’t then they’ll be annoyed.

Video Games

SEE:  Sport

Wasting time together

You may think you spend loads of time with yer wan, but how much of it is sitting in front of the TV not talking to each other?

Think of all the fun things you could be doing!  Playing games!  Talking!  Making up special handshakes!

Cheating

‘But it’s valuable time!’ I hear you crying, ‘We watch Breaking Bad together!  We love Jesse!’

Unfortunately, a shared love of a programme is not always a good thing.  In fact, according to research by Netflix, eight out of ten Irish people have admitted to cheating on their partners through their TV.

You know how it is, your other half is out for the night and you’re sitting at home with a brand new episode of your favourite show just sitting there waiting for you to watch it.  Do you wait, or do you watch it without them?  Then do you lie about it?

IT’S DECEPTION AND IT’S DISGUSTING.

Deprivation

What if, say, you really love Made in Chelsea, but the person you share your couch with doesn’t?  What if you never get to watch Made in Chelsea?  What if that makes you really angry?!?  WHAT IF YOU START TO HATE THEM????

(Also applies to other shows.)

The second telly

‘WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT, YOU DOPE?’, you’re shouting, ‘Sure you can just get a second telly!’

I hear you, but the second telly presents a whole new set of issues.  One minute you’re simply watching your favourite programme in another room, the next minute you’re singing karaoke in a bar in rural Lancashire wondering where it all went wrong.

The bedroom telly

Speaking of TVs in other rooms, the television in the bedroom is the ultimate relationship destroyer.

You think it will be all snuggles during your favourite programme, but what you end up with is insomnia and a nookie free zone.

TELEVISION IS THE ENEMY OF THE NOOKIE.

Unrealistic romantic expectations

Even if you manage to avoid all of the above, TV still manages to get it’s technicoloured tentacles in your way.

The out of control romance we see in lots of shows may give your partner unrealistic expectations when it comes to romance, or it may make you feel inadequate.

IT CAN’T ALWAYS BE CHOREOGRAPHED SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING NUMBERS YOU KNOW.

YouTube/GleeExtras

The actual television

They attract and show up dust, leading to arguments about people not pulling their weight with the household chores.

And we all know what that means…CERTAIN DOOM.

Obviously, we’re not all going to ditch our tellies now.  However, it’s worth keeping this information in mind.  BEFORE THE TV GETS YOU.

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