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Dublin: 4 °C Saturday 28 January, 2023
# avocado suite
11 things that made you posh in 1980s Ireland
Was this your house? No, it was probably your fancy neighbours.

DID YOU GROW up in a fancy house?

Chances are, you didn’t. Chances are, you had neighbours across the street that your parents sometimes gave out about, but you always secretly admired because of the stuff in their house.

Here’s what they had:

1. A bidet

These were really more to confuse guests than anything else, right?

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“So that’s a special thing for washing your… parts?”

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2. Big leather sofa in the sitting room

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For watching that there Sky Television from the Satellite.

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3. Doorbell with a tune

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4. A coloured bathroom suite

Avocado being the ideal, obviously:

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Although pink was also acceptable.

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5. More than one telly

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Even fancier depending on where the TV(s) were. In two separate living rooms = really fancy. In the kitchen = unbelievably fancy. In the kids’ bedrooms = notions, spoiled, above themselves.

6. The Channels

Ukgameshows OK, not strictly from the 1980s. But still! Gladiators! Ukgameshows

7. Pot pourri

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In the bathroom, obviously. FOR THE SMELLS.

8. A fish tank

The more accessories, the better. Look, a tiny castle!

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9. Patio with crazy paving

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And maybe even a gas barbecue, if you fancied yourself as an entertainer/had watched too many American sitcoms.

10. Those curtains with an extra bit across the top

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And if you had SERIOUS notions:

PinkMoose PinkMoose

11. And finally, a special mat that fit around the toilet

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Known as a “pedestal mat”. As I learned while writing this piece. SO FANCY.

How to identify someone who grew up without ‘The Channels’>

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