Dublin: 10 °C Friday 3 February, 2023
# smell my feet
8 of the absolute worst things you could find in your trick or treat bag
Oh yay. More monkey nuts.

TRICK OR TREATING was the whole point of Halloween as a kid, basically an excuse to terrorise your neighbours and eat your weight in junk.

However, some people are unclear as to what they should be giving out to trick or treaters. Here are a few things they do not appreciate, for a start.

1. Monkey nuts

Monkey nuts are nice, yes, but why so many of them? And why are some of them so difficult to crack? It’s a conspiracy to distract children from the actual sweets.

2. Fruit in general

People who give fruit to trick or treaters are dryshites. And you can take that to the bank.

3. Those little boxes of raisins

DRYSHITES. May they all get egged.

4. Any sort of loose sweets

Licorice Allsorts, jelly beans, etc. They picked up all the fluff from your pillowcase, rendering them inedible. Rude and uncalled for.

5. Sucky sweets

Save them for your gran!

6. Cling-filmed balls of popcorn

BX3aKRFCIAILY0J Twitter / @taylor_628 Twitter / @taylor_628 / @taylor_628

Just scabby. At least buy a multipack.

7. Change

coins-232010_1280 Pixabay Pixabay

Get a piggy bank, and stop forcing your coppers on the neighbourhood children.

8. Parma Violets and/or Fizzers

swizzel-mix_zoom_5 Retrosweets Retrosweets

If we wanted to eat chalk, we would just eat chalk. Ban them. Ban them all.

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Just 17 people and animals getting awful bad frights>

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