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# hack of ya
A BBC reporter made a 'lunch hack' and everyone thinks it is the most ridiculous thing ever
You don’t have to eat ham and cheese sandwiches every single day to save money.

Is this the coolest avocado trick ever? TNS / ABACA TNS / ABACA / ABACA

THE YEAR IS 2017. All it takes to buy a house is to stop buying smashed avocados. If young people are strong enough to resist the urge to pay €3 for a flat white, they are guaranteed a life of success and good fortune.

George Michael is dead. David Bowie is dead. Even David Gest is dead. Donald Trump is president of the United States and people have forgotten that sandwiches were once made by humans and not just by robots on fully automated assembly lines.

As if we needed another reason to make Karl Marx turn in his grave.

Once upon a time, in the mind of a BBC reporter, the only way to get a sandwich was to get a robot to suction up bread slices and place them on a moving belt which leads them to the egg salad machine. Here, the egg salad robot will kindly spit out some egg salad onto every second slice.

step 1

step 2

step 3

Then the robot suction flips the empty slices onto the top of the egg salad bread slices in order to cover them up and form a ‘sandwich’.

step 4

Next up, the bread is divided down the middle by an ultrasonic knife that slices the sandwiches in two by using vibrations produced by high frequency soundwaves. What the hell do you mean there must be an easier way to do this?

Finally, those robots we depend on for so much pick up half of each sandwich and stack them for us.

step 5

But this week one BBC reporter found out there is another way to acquire a sandwich that barely even requires robots.

He calls it “MY LUNCH HACK“.

PastedImage-12207 BBC BBC

To mark British Sandwich Week, reporter Dougal Shaw tried something new. Instead of buying pre-packaged sandwiches at a supermarket, or making them at home – he made them at work with weekly ingredients. He recorded it all on his smartphone as a video diary.

Yes. Reporter Dougal Shaw is going to immerse himself in the world of people who don’t eat pre-packaged sandwiches and reveal a top secret hack. He’s going to make a sandwich with his bare hands.

This crazy idea came to him while he was on his break one day.


He made this realization:


Meanwhile, I made the realization that we have strayed way too far from the light. Is there really not one person in the BBC who has ever made themselves a sandwich and told Dougal that it’s not exactly a life hack and it’s certainly not a big deal.


Here’s how he did it.


He did a bit of bargain hunting with his cheese, and decided to eat his bread dry because butter was too bulky.


Clearly this life hack needs a bit of tweaking because he hasn’t come up with a way to save himself from having to walk out to the shop every single day, because he’s buying the bread daily. Here is a hint: buy a slice pan. Buy a few rolls at once and just freeze them.

Now here he is, sharing his creations with us:


I really can’t get behind eating a dry ham and cheese sandwich every single day for lunch.


Some days he even subjected himself to two dry ham and cheese sandwiches.


Then there was this one:


Make it stop. Please. Just please go back to buying packaged sandwiches.


How much did this exercise save him?


The lunches he made himself were £9.50 whereas the prepackaged sandwiches cost him £17.50 per week. He saved a total of £8 by doing this. All I can say is, at what cost?

I understand that £8 per week can mean a lot to someone, especially when it comes to food. But this was definitely not the most cost effective way to conduct this experiment.

The current conversion rate of £9.50 means it is roughly €11 per week he is spending on lunch. A bland lunch that is the same every single day. €11 for 5 days in a row eating dry ham and cheese sandwiches.


In Aldi a loaf of wholegrain bread is about 99c. A tub of pesto is €2. Enough cherry tomatoes to last the week sets you back about €1.50 and the huge bags of spinach they sell have enough to last two weeks and come to €2.

That’s €6.50, or roughly half of the price that this reporter is paying and it’s the makings of a sandwich that is considerably less tiresome than ham and cheese for five days a week. There is a lot I don’t understand about this video, or what it must be like to be a person who has never made themselves a sandwich. As hard as I try, I actually cannot come up with a way to make ham and cheese sandwiches cost that much.

Needless to say, nobody on Twitter took this seriously:

PastedImage-37742 Hany Gohary Hany Gohary

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