EVERYONE LOVES PERCY pigs. If you don’t, just get out.
But, as with everything, we must judge them against each other.
Presenting, our official countdown…
10. Percy’s personalities
These are new, and we’re afraid of change, so they’re coming last for the moment.
9. Percy’s family mix
OK, right off, we don’t give a shite about Percy’s extended family. If we wanted fruit gums we’d buy fruit gums. Jog on, and leave the pink Percy goodness behind.
8. Percy’s veggie pigs
They don’t have any gelatine in them, and I’m sure they’re excellent for veggies, but please keep it to yourselves. The only time these are acceptable is when there are absolutely no other Percy options present.
7. Rosy Noses
These are marshmallow with a gummy topping and they are quite dull. Like, we need the whole pig. Give us the whole pig.
6. Percy Piglets
They’re too small to be any higher than this, but you’ve got to admit, they hit the spot.
5. Globetrotting Percy
Seriously? Can someone tell me how a pig and a tiger and a panda are supposed to be friends? Calling him Timmy Tiger is not gonna make him rip poor lil Percy to shreds any slower. We’re OK with the blackcurrant and mango flavours, but stay safe, bae.
4. Phizzy Pig Tails
Eating these feel so bad, but taste so good. We aren’t gonna pretend that these AREN’T just a different variety of MS sweets, coloured and flavoured to fit into the percy fam. However, they deliver the goods.
3. Percy and Penny sweets
What can we say, we’re a sucker for love. Penny is a girl pig as she has a flower in her hair, see? We love a bit of gender normative snacking.
2. Original Percy
The one. The only. Perrrrrcy. Percy the pig has brought families, friends, lovers, all back together. They’re the sweet equivalent of a cup of tea.
1. Reversy Percy
The only thing better than the standard Percy, is Percy damn well turned inside out. These are Percys with more of that delicious ear jelly and less of the foamy face. It looks painful Percy, but remember, we’re kinda eating you either way.
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