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Dublin: 10 °C Thursday 23 May, 2013

10 foods that are dangerous to eat in public

Knowledge is power.

UNLESS YOU ARE some sort of uber confident immaculate eater, you will be familiar with the fact that some food is messy.

There is nothing worse than sitting down in front of someone you want to respect you and suddenly realising that whatever you’ve bought to eat is going to end up all over the place.

So, to help you keep your eyes peeled for certain danger foods, we put our heads together and came up with some of the worst offenders.

Here are ten foods that are a challenge to eat in public.

Spaghetti bolognese

Long strands coated in red sauce?  Were the Italians messing when they came up with this one?


YouTube/deborahruth42

Y’see, what Capri is doing wrong here is using her hands.  We don’t recommend that.  There is also a lack of plate here which means she’s fecked before she even starts if we’re honest with you.

Big sloppy burgers

Sometimes you don’t even know if those bad boys are going to fit in your mouth, let alone whether you’ll manage it in a tidy fashion.  (See also: overly coleslawed sandwich.)

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I mean, seriously…  Flick/Ewan-M/Creative Commons

Chicken wings

Saucy, spicy and impossible to eat with anything other than your hands, there is no graceful way to devour these.  See also: ribs.

Salouni here is cheating a little by bypassing the sauce, but she does demonstrate some pretty useful eating techniques here.



YouTube/readysteadyeat

Oranges (and other juicy fruits)

They’re a demon to peel, and the juice goes everywhere.  Same goes for peaches and pears.  Juice dribbling down you face is not a good look.

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Flickr/Nikki L./Creative Commons

We feel it’s our duty to tell you that there are a lot of weird videos of people eating oranges on YouTube, should you wish to see them..

Meatball subs

A soft white roll filled with meatballs coated in tomato sauce and melty cheese may be delicious, but it’s not easy to eat.

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Flickr/stu_spivack/Creative Commons

Corn on the cob

Even if you manage to gnaw the kernels off the cob without making a fool of yourself, you’re almost guaranteed to be left with loads of bits in your teeth.

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This man is employing the ‘face on corn’ technique.  Flickr/Monkey Mash Button/Creative Commons

Burritos/Falafel/any other overly filled wrap

You’re lucky if these things don’t disintegrate entirely, so the chances of getting through one without its contents dribbling all over your hands are slim to none.

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Flickr/Swift Benjamin/Creative Commons

French Onion Soup

We know what you’re thinking, ‘What’s so tough about soup?’  Well we’ll tell you, it’s the layer of melted cheese on the top.  Stringy, gooey and dribbly, there’s nothing delicate about this soup.

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Flickr/david.nikonvscanon/Creative Commons

Shellfish with the shell on

Whether it’s langoustine or crab claws, those suckers are hard to get out of their shells when you know how, never mind if you’re not sure of the best method.


YouTube/MirageAlpha3

That is not the best method by the way.

Ramen

A big bowl of liquid and noodles served with chopsticks and a giant spoon is not easy to manage.  If you can eat it without splashing all over the place then you are a superior being.

Maybe we can pick up some tips from these professionals…


YouTube/scmp888

Feel free to suggest any other danger foods in the comments, so that we can be prepared for all messy eventualities.

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