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Dublin: 15 °C Friday 22 June, 2018
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10 memories every Irish person will have of the teenage sesh

‘Have you got a free gaf?’

WITH STATE EXAMS on the horizon and the threat of failure forever looming, the vast majority of us absolutely lived for the sesh during our time in secondary school.

PastedImage-29455 Source: Shutterstock

Christ knows, we needed something to take the edge off.

And because the elusive sesh was never a sure thing – someone’s parents cancelled their holiday or the local field got flooded – this meant that planning one was often fraught with tension and risk.

Just the way you liked it.

We mean, remember….

1. When word actually landed.

Someone’s older sister had gone to Magaluf and come home with a rake of drink that she was willing to sell to underage drinkers for a very attractive price.

If you were lucky, this news would coincide with the manifestation of a free gaff in a neighbouring estate. And if you weren’t, it meant a night in a cold, wet field, but you powered on like the champs you were.

2. The ‘coded’ texts you would send.

“Are you ag ól this weekend?”

Yeah, your parents would never crack that one.

no idea

3. The Venn Diagram of excuses.

Chances were your parents knew each other, so you and your mates would need to get your stories straight when it came to your whereabouts on the night in question.

This meant revising past excuses, establishing potential links, sidestepping possible flaws in the story, and drilling the loose canon in the group to ensure they were on the same page.

Failure wasn’t an option.

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4. Making that all-important list.

If you weren’t fortunate to get your hands on the hooch brought home from Magaluf, you needed to find your own source.

And that meant establishing what drink was needed, and who would be most likely to get it.

The more monied among you could splash out on Bacardi Breezers while the rest of you would get busy mixing vodka with cordial.

5. Now it was time to enlist the help of another sound adult.

Sometimes they fell through and sometimes they came through. It was a cruel game, and you knew this.

Worst came to worst you’d have to help yourself to your parent’s drink cabinet. Butterscotch Schnapps, anyone?

6. And then it was show-time.

And, as we all know, this meant standing uncomfortably in a random lad’s kitchen until some suggested a drinking game.

Or standing uncomfortably in a dark field until someone fell into a bush and had to be brought home.


7. And then the suspicion set in.

Whether it was in a free gaf or a wet field, there came a point when cracks would start to show in the contingent.

And this usually came down to booze levels.

You knew who you were sharing your drink with, so why was there only that much left? And who helped themselves to the cans hidden in the washing machine?

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8. Looking after that one friend.

They promised they’d hold it together this time, but you knew it was curtains when they started skulking around that washing machine.

Ten minutes later they were locked in the downstairs bathroom while the rest of the crew attempted to break the door down.

And if you don’t remember ever helping out like this, its because you were that friend.

9. The end game

Whether you remember crashing out or not, chances are you fell asleep on a neglected couch in the converted garage without so much as a coat to keep the chill out.

You woke with a crick in your neck, a mouth as dry as the Sahara and 12 missed calls from your mam.

hangover

10. All hail the chicken roll and chewing gum.

The sesh normally ended with a rake of teens blundering through a housing estate, in desperate need of the deli.

Remember, you needed a chicken roll to sober up and chewing gum to cover up.

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