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THERE WERE TEARS, there were mentions of frontage and you better believe there were lads getting forced into marriage. The Rose of Tralee is over for another year, and we have a lovely new Rose, Maria Walsh of Philadelphia.
We were there through it all. The ups, the downs, but we’ve all come out alive and the lovely girls have done us all proud.
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We may never get justice for the Sydney dog, but we know it’s out there–happy.
Here’s how it went down.
HERE WE GO. We have 14 lovely girls to meet tonight, you lucky, lucky bunch. Who’s it gonna be? The Abu Dhabi Rose is favourite to win according to the bookies. You might remember her as Elsa from Frozen with a dye-job.
We’re not starting anything but being a princess obviously carries an unfair advantage.
DAÍTHÍ JUST DID LORD OF THE DANCE. Well, Flatley’s pose, anyway.
Uncanny.
We may never recover. Here is the lovely Nottingham Rose holding up her dress while she jigs to cleanse your mind. Look at that drop with the finish. Flawless.
And his vest is RED. Shocker. Daíthí decided to ask him if he wanted to propose, which we now assume he’ll do for ever Rose’s boyfriend for all of eternity.
Revelations are coming fast and strong. The Philadelphia Rose doesn’t drink. We have mixed feelings about this, but it’s probably the reason her skin is so crystal clear.
“No kissing, straight in.” DAÍTHI! He’s completely lost the run of himself. He can already see the pint of Guinness waiting for him when this is all over.
The pint of Guinness and the tiny beard comb you just know he uses during the ad breaks.
Oh, the Rose? Well, she’s a fan of One Direction so that’s al right by us.
*Ducks*
The Carlow Rose is doing an interpretive dance that she went and CHANGED for.
What is this blasphemy? We all know it’s Daíthi’s job to reef the big dresses off them to reveal a little one.
We’re deducting points but she did the splits and Daíthí called her Miriam O’Callaghan for the bants, so we all have our crosses to bear.
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