1. “I definitely have to tell them at some point that the photo collages of them as a baby look SO adorable”
They are everywhere.
2. “I can’t believe they managed to get the number 21 written on every single thing in the whole place”
You know they were hard at work all day for this.
3. “I hope they’re grand with €21 shoved in a card as my present”
Cons: The lack of imagination.
Pros: It’s hard cash.
4. “I never knew this pub even had a function room upstairs”
The hidden function rooms across Ireland are the spiritual homes of the 21st.
5. “When are they bringing out the finger food?”
You tactically avoid dinner based on the assumption that cocktail sausages, onion rings and some sort of chicken snacks will be provided.
6. “Am I going to be the first person to get up and go over to the delicious, greasy finger food?”
Surely it’s family first? What is the etiquette around horsing into the wings?
The table is always so far away from the main seating area, it’s so obvious if you’re the first to stroll up.
7. “I have a sneaking suspicion that this character DJing is a family friend who’s trying his best with his laptop”
I won’t bother him with too many requests.
8. “I’m not going to do Rock the Boat this time”
9. “Ah f**k. Why did I do Rock the Boat?”
Genuinely pulled a muscle on the last thrust.
10. “Poor craytur, having to do a speech in front of the whole room with a microphone”
11. “I hope I’m not anywhere near number 21 when the kisses start”
A nice, safe number like 11 will do just fine.
Unless you ARE the designated 21st kisser and the pressure is on.
12. “I really think I’m offending the elderly relatives with my pre-midnight debauchery”
All the old relatives are watching you. They might give off the impression that they aren’t, but everyone knows the truth.
13. “I still have no idea why huge keys feature prominently throughout”
14. “There really is a diverse age group on this dancefloor now”
From teenage cousins to middle aged uncles, the dancefloor is a smorgasbord of demographics – the likes of which is only rivalled by a family wedding.
And then the night blends into any other, and the 21st celebrations are done. Until the next one arrives in about a month’s time.