LAST WEEK, WE looked at the types of Irish aunt. Now, we turn our attention to the uncles of Ireland.
1. The oblivious uncle
He has absolutely no idea what’s going on half the time. Your aunt looks after all the presents, all the family logistics, and don’t think for a SECOND he knows what age you are.
Uncle Aiden did NOT sign this card. Be under no illusion.
2. The bachelor
This guy has absolutely no intention of ever settling down and it’s constantly the topic of scrutiny in the family. He still lives at home with your nan, but at least he keeps the marriage questions from hitting you.
3. The rural one
He’s a man’s man and doesn’t lift a finger around the house. At family gatherings he’ll be the one calling the lads who work in offices ‘wimps’ and hoofing into the pints like there’s no tomorrow.
4. The generous one
He seems to have an endless supply of fivers stuffed into his pocket and isn’t afraid to hand them out to his nieces and nephews.
5. The cool uncle
He’s genuinely enthusiastic about being your uncle and is usually your favourite. He has loads of stories of you as a kid and you still spend time with him, on PURPOSE.
6. The Childish uncle
He tickles you and still thinks you enjoy his transparent card tricks–even well past your twenties. He means well, bless him.
7. The weird one
This guy is a bit mysterious and you’re kind of glad of it. He keeps out of the way until he shows up for dinner and makes everything uncomfortable.
8. The contrary one
If he’s not voicing his opinion at the dinner table, he’s doing it on Facebook and all the lads from his secondary school back him up on it.
9. The vaguely Republican one
You don’t know exactly how he’s connected, but he has definitely donated money at some point.
This is his cover photo on Facebook:
10. The mad-for-pints one
He can drink about twenty pints before he even begins to act a bit tipsy, but then all hell breaks loose. On the upside, he’s most likely to get the round in in the pub.
11. The mysteriously wealthy one
He SUPPOSEDLY works as a plumber so why does he rock up to each family gathering with a new car and take four holidays a year? We’re not ones to talk, BUT…
