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party season

9 anxieties every Irish person experiences during Christmas party season

MAKE IT STOP.

WE’RE RIGHT IN the middle of party season.

And with party season comes a whole load of anxieties.

Like…

1. First of all, there’s the realisation that you have something planned for virtually every single evening

“Right, I have my Christmas party on the 11th, Sean’s Christmas drinks on the 12th and my niece’s Christmas carol service on the 13th.”

BUT I JUST WANT TO STAY IN AND WATCH GRAHAM NORTON.

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2. Unless you’re working, that is, in which case you’re likely to come down with a case of extreme FOMO at some point

Why is everyone having fun without me? Why do I have to bloody work? Why can’t I go out and drink hot toddies with everyone else?

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3. The odds of having a hangover in work go up by a million per cent during party season

“Ah, I’ll only have a few drinks. I know it’s Wednesday, but it’s Christmas. You can’t get hangovers at Christmas.”

Cue next morning in work trying not to sick up at your desk.

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4. Suddenly you start getting e-mails from all your emigrant pals who say things like, “I’d really love to see you”

HOW WILL I FIT EVERYONE IN????

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5. You actively avoid going on Facebook for fear of the tagged photos that await you…

Facebook: “___ ___ tagged you in 37 photos”

You: “Oh great, now I have to untag myself from at least 35 photos.”

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6. The fear of being that person at the Christmas work party keeps you awake at night

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7. And the Monday after the Christmas party is the most fear-filled day of the year

Even if you’re reasonably certain that you behaved yourself, there’s always a lingering fear that you’ll be called in for a meeting with HR.

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8. You’re constantly deciding that you have “nothing to wear”…

Which leads to a bit of panic shopping and fretting about how much money you’re spending ahead of Christmas.

It’s a vicious circle, really.

9. To say nothing of spending so much money on going out that you’re left with loads Receipts of Shame and a rather sad looking bank account

“Merry Christmas, Mam. I got you a receipt for three gin and tonics.”

13 Christmas commandments every Irish person should follow >

32 iconic Christmas songs, ranked from worst to best >

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