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Dublin: 10 °C Tuesday 23 January, 2018
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The 10 horrific stages of being 'back to work'

We’re all in this together.

MONDAYS ARE HARD. We all know this.

The Monday after the Christmas holidays?

Well that’s just the Monday of Mondays and with that comes a number of horrifying realisations.

Like…

1. Waking up early is a foreign concept that must be relearned

After a fortnight of lie-ins, your body has to try get back into the swing of things.

And owing to excessive fretting about sleeping it out this morning, you probably didn’t get a wink in last night. Now you’re exhausted.

Welcome back to work!

2. Ditto getting dressed

You mean I can’t wear an old tracksuit, Christmas jumper and slipper socks to work? What do I wear then? What is this thing you call a “shirt”?

giphy (2) Source: Giphy

Of course once you do relearn the act of getting dressed, that’s not to say that it will go well.

3. This is you driving to work:

giphy (6) Source: Absurd Noise

After just remembering that everyone is terrible at driving.

4. Your brain feels a little something like this

shutterstock_153513398 Source: Shutterstock/MaraZe

Tasks that normally require little thought are now positively daunting. If anyone asks you something difficult, you may cry. In fact, you may have just forgotten how to do your job altogether.

Best to just take regular bathroom breaks and spend time dawdling in the kitchen, so!

5. You’re suffering from extreme e-mail anxiety

You arrive to work to find 378 unread e-mails and immediately feel defeated.

*marks as read, hopes for the best*

6. You’ve just realised how uncomfortable your office chair is

After several days of being splayed out on the couch, you’ve just realised how uncomfortable your work chair truly is and now it’s ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT.

hocus-pocus-noose-terribly-uncomfortable-sarah-jessica-parker Source: Gurl

7. Lunch and time don’t make sense any more

shutterstock_168762866 Source: Shutterstock/Ivelin Radkov

For the past few weeks, you have alternated between eating mince pies and After Eights every half an hour. Now your body doesn’t know how to cope.

Your body: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL 12.30PM TO EAT AGAIN?”

You: *stomach groans, fantasises about Pringles*

8. You keep looking at the time hoping that two hours has miraculously passed by and it’s nearly time to go home

giphy (8) Source: gifake

Sadly, it’s still 11.37am. It will always be 11.37am.

9. The calendar is now nothing but a source of sorrow and misery

alanmaguire Source: Alan Maguire/Twitter

10. Oh well, nothing better for it than to stare idly at your computer screen and planning your next holiday

shutterstock_124333858 Source: Shutterstock/Iakov Kalinin

Welcome back to work, everybody.

9 undeniable symptoms of Post-Christmas Holiday Fear >

15 sun-drenched tropical paradises where January doesn’t even exist* > 

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