1. The true horror of the ‘need experience to get a job >>> can’t get experience without a job’ bind
2. And realising that there is no option but to work for free (or for very little)
3. Reading through lists of ridiculous qualifications required for unpaid internships
‘Two years’ digital marketing experience plus a PhD in applied mathematics’. Are they joking? (They’re never joking.)
4. The indignity of hearing yourself being referred to as ‘the intern’
I HAVE A NAME.
5. If you’re even noticed at all, that is
People will introduce themselves to you several times, and you’ll feel like a ghost of a person. Really great for the old self-esteem.
6. Getting shuffled around from desk to desk
Until at last being set up at the clunkiest computer with the most battered chair, in the broom closet (probably).
7. Being pretty sure they’re making up jobs for you to do
I’m an intern at a law firm. My job today is to hold the umbrella.
8. And feeling the boredom seep into your very bones
9. Then, on other days, barely having time to go to the loo because you’re so busy
10. Meanwhile, you’re also working another job so as to have actual money
11. Learning to look to the other interns for emotional support
“He said ‘Give this to John’. WHO IS JOHN?!” “I think he’s the one with the mustache, over there?”
12. And always, always discussing the possibility of getting ‘kept on’
You will learn about one employee who got kept on after an internship, and they will become your guiding light.
13. Trying to explain the whole situation to your extended family
“No, Uncle Jim, unfortunately you can’t walk out of DCU and into RTÉ these days. Yes, I know it’s ridiculous I’m not getting paid. Oh absolutely, ring Joe Duffy if you must.”
14. Repeating the phrase “It’s good for my CV!” until you’re not even sure what a CV is any more
15. At the end of it all, you probably won’t get a job…
…But you might get some ‘goodbye intern’ cake? So really, it all balances out.
