MAKING TEA IS no laughing matter.
It’s serious business, with many relying on you to make the perfect hug-in-a-mug.
With that said, if you have been selected or volunteered (sound) to participate in the act of tea-making, take these guidelines on board.
1. Cup or pot?
The first decision you will run into, is whether to do it with a cup or a pot.
This all depends on the amount of people you’re making tea for and the circumstances under which you’re making them. For example, sitting down with a friend at home, sure throw on a pot. In the office, however you’re a cert to run out so make it in the cup.
2. Cup or mug?
Mug. Cups are for your granny and children’s tea parties. Give us a bucket of delicious tea, not a sip or two with a handle we can’t fit our fingers in.
3. Water or teabag first?
If you have to ask this, back off making tea for a while.
Teabag first. Teabag.
4. Milk or teagba…
Did you not listen the first time? Teabag first, no exceptions.
5. Stir or squeeze?
We’re leaving dipping out of this because, frankly, teabags with a string on them shouldn’t be permitted. Clearly, squeezing is the best option here. It slightly speeds up the process of diffusing the tea and is deeply satisfying to squeeze it against the side of a mug with a spoon.
6. Leave the teabag in for milk, or take it out?
Controversial, but we’re gonna say leave it in. Give it another squeeze and then remove it. If you like your tea super weak, you’re wrong.
7. Preheat the mug, or nay?
Preheat. A mug of tea that hasn’t been preheated with a bit of boiling water is a sad mug of tea, indeed.
8. Pour the milk, or let them do it?
Where possible, let the recipient of the tea do the pouring. Under no circumstances think you can speed that process up by handing out these:
Let’s be civil here.
9. Sugar or no sugar?
Anyone over the age of 12 should not drink sugar in their tea, and anyone with the audacity to put the spoon back in the sugar after stirring shouldn’t be referred to as a homo sapien.
10. Biscuit or no biscuit?
Biscuit. Serving up tea without a biscuit is rarely excusable the only exception being in an office, where a biscuit tin may be nearby and collected at a later date.
11. Barrys or Lyons?
We’d like to avoid any suspicious packages getting sent to the office, so we’ll sit on the fence here and let you decide.
