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Dublin: 4 °C Tuesday 20 February, 2018
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14 things normal people do before breakfast

“They network over coffee.” – Er, nope.

THIS AFTERNOON, THE World Economic Forum shared a graphic listing things successful people do before breakfast.

As you can see, these things include working on passion projects, meditating, connecting with your spouse, exercising and networking over coffee.

Clearly successful people have a good seven hours to play with before breakfast, but us normal people? Our mornings go a little something like this…

1. Wake up with a start and wonder where you are, what day it is and whether you’re late

Scary Animated GIF Source: Giphy

2. Marvel at how dry your mouth is

Cat tongue. Source: Imgur

3. Lie in bed listening to Morning Ireland while calculating the absolute latest time you can get up

“If I get up at 7.37am, I’ll be grand.”

4. “Connect” with your spouse by basically saying nothing to them except for “Excuse me” when you cross paths with them in the hallway

Tired Animated GIF Source: Giphy

5. Sit on the toilet and contemplate life for a while

MRW I forget to take my phone and shampoo bottle is too damn far Source: Imgur

6. Check Facebook hoping you’ve gotten a notification in the, oh, seven hours since you last checked it

The Facebook notification icon changes depending on where you're from Source: Imgur

7. Accidentally spend 7 minutes scrolling mindlessly through Twitter

News Animated GIF Source: Giphy

8. Jump into the shower and remember that you forgot to buy conditioner again; come to terms with the fact that your hair will look a bit of a state today

Bad hair day, hamster style. Source: Imgur

9. Frantically get dressed and make split second judgements about whether something needs to be ironed or not

iron Source: Flickr

“That’s grand*.”

* = could definitely do with an iron, but as if you’re going to go to the trouble of that.

10. Spend several minutes just looking at your socks; almost punch the air with excitement when you find a pair that (a) match and (b) are vaguely comfortable

csocks Source: Flickr

11. Look at the empty wine bottles in the corner of your kitchen and think, “Oh, must deal with that at some point” before immediately forgetting about it

winn Source: Flickr

12. Take a sip of tea/coffee, realise it’s too hot and you won’t have time to drink it, and throw half of it out into the sink

Quick the British are awake, pour them a nice cup of tea! Source: Imgur

It’s not you, tea. It’s me.

13. Discover you’ve somehow lost everything you need for the day — keys, money, Leap Card — and tear the house apart before finding that they were in your bag the whole time

keys Source: Flickr

14. Head out the door and realise halfway on the bus that you’ve forgotten to turn off the immersion

Snl Animated GIF Source: Giphy

And, no, you don’t have breakfast.

Don’t be silly.

11 ingenious solutions all lazy people will covet in the kitchen >

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