him: your single? why?

me: you're*

— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) May 3, 2015

so if i spend my time eating cheese, watching Netflix, n having orgasms alone, i'm 'depressed', but if someone else is there i'm 'in love' ?

— Babs Gray (@BabsGray) March 28, 2014

I saw this and died laughing because the bottom picture is my bed right this second #singlelife #ForeverAlone pic.twitter.com/dak5PqaHZX

— Jennifer Gilbert (@jenlynngilbert) November 24, 2015

Probs the worst is when someone dates you & then gets back with their ex cause they tried something new but the old shitty option was better

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) January 2, 2015

If you have attended over 100 weddings and you are still single. Sister, you are no longer different from a canopy.

— Gboah Tv (@Officialgboahtv) December 1, 2015

Cop: anything in your pockets that might hurt me?

"Nah"

*cop pulls out a pic of his ex GF and suspect*

Cop: *wiping tears* I'm over it

— paperwash© (@PaperWash) October 27, 2014

#singlelife but that's ok cuz.....⤴ pic.twitter.com/FsGxoPaaFt

— Julie Ann (@JulesRN73) November 23, 2015

Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant

— Mary Kobayashi (@MaryKoCo) November 5, 2012