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#Cardinal Rules

Column: On a 'bold' priest and his seditious message of love
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Column: On a 'bold' priest and his seditious message of love

Apr 20th 2012, 7:40 PM 23 Views 4 Comments

This week, the (Not) Primate of All Ireland tries to avoid being influenced by the arrival of a ‘maverick’ priest who wants him to be nice to gay people and for clerics to be able to marry.

Column: Cardinal Rules - The Easter epic
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# Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules - The Easter epic

Apr 8th 2012, 6:00 PM 6 Views 3 Comments

What happens when two rival live Passion Plays collide? This and the other Easter Weekend happenings from the (not) Primate of All Ireland.

Column: Cardinal Rules - On the household charge and the stranger at the door
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# Cardinal Rules

Column: Cardinal Rules - On the household charge and the stranger at the door

Mar 30th 2012, 7:30 PM 1 View 6 Comments

This week, the (Not) Primate of All Ireland and his pals worry about levies, escaped convicts… and spiked lemonade.

Column: Cardinal Rules - Our day with Mahon
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Column: Cardinal Rules - Our day with Mahon

Mar 23rd 2012, 8:30 PM 5 Views 10 Comments

This week, the not Primate of All Ireland recounts the anguish of the Mahon report – especially the bit where he tried to download it.

Column: Cardinal Rules - The real Book of Patrick
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# Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules - The real Book of Patrick

Mar 16th 2012, 7:00 PM 7 Views 6 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland, shares some previously unpublished excerpts from a life of St Patrick… by his manservant Bran.

Column: Cardinal Rules - On gay rights
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# Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules - On gay rights

Mar 9th 2012, 7:30 PM 18 Views 21 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland worries about the support of the Tories and Fianna Fáil for gay marriage but finds a new champion in a Scottish colleague – and relief in Winning Streak.

Column: Cardinal Rules - On how Inkgate goes all the way to the top
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Column: Cardinal Rules - On how Inkgate goes all the way to the top

Mar 2nd 2012, 7:30 PM 9 Views 11 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland investigates the full extent of Inkgate – and finds out about Richard Bruton’s addiction to novelty erasers…

Column: Cardinal Rules - On priests versus geeks
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# Cardinal Brady

Column: Cardinal Rules - On priests versus geeks

Feb 17th 2012, 7:30 PM 9 Views 16 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland went to a Reclaim the Faith Conference. It was all going to be suitably pious – until the hotel was double-booked with a sci-fi convention…

Column: Cardinal Rules - On closing the Vatican embassy
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# Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules - On closing the Vatican embassy

Feb 10th 2012, 7:30 PM 6 Views 7 Comments

The (not) Primate of All Ireland reflects on a difficult few days in which the Bishops battled over the right type of biscuit (and the closure of the Vatican embassy too).

Column: Cardinal Rules – On cross-cultural exchange
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Column: Cardinal Rules – On cross-cultural exchange

Feb 3rd 2012, 8:30 PM 24 Views 0 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland and his colleagues ruminate on multicultural Ireland and embrace the “great big melting pot our little island has become”.

Column: Cardinal Rules - On 'pop' culture 2012
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# Fun

Column: Cardinal Rules - On 'pop' culture 2012

Jan 13th 2012, 8:30 PM 7 Views 8 Comments

The (not) Primate of All Ireland readies himself for a year of cultural gems like Fr Gerry O’Shea’s one-man avant-garde production, ‘I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About, Sure Everything Is Grand’.

Column: Cardinal Rules - On January boot camp for the boys
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# Fun

Column: Cardinal Rules - On January boot camp for the boys

Jan 6th 2012, 8:30 PM 10 Views 18 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland observes a morale-building exercise, complete with assault course and Dr James Reilly’s speech-giving techniques.

Column: Cardinal Rules remembers 2011
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# Fun

Column: Cardinal Rules remembers 2011

Dec 31st 2011, 5:00 PM 12 Views 16 Comments

The Pope’s stunt double, liveblogging the British royal wedding, a politican and an inflatable penis – good times, my flock, good times.

Column: Cardinal Rules - The Three Wise(ish) Men
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Column: Cardinal Rules - The Three Wise(ish) Men

Dec 24th 2011, 4:00 PM 28 Views 8 Comments

This Christmas Eve, the (not) Primate of All Ireland brings his specially-extended version of the tale of The Three Wise Men… and an aubergine.

Column: Cardinal Rules - On the invasion of science
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# Fun

Column: Cardinal Rules - On the invasion of science

Dec 16th 2011, 8:30 PM 13 Views 4 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland reflects on a difficult few days in which the clerics lost a Brother and almost gained a God particle.

Column: Cardinal Rules - On giving Brian Hayes a helping hand
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# Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules - On giving Brian Hayes a helping hand

Dec 9th 2011, 8:30 PM 3 Views 5 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland reflects on the needy and vulnerable of Ireland, including members of Government who now have to subsist on only several thousand euro a week…

Column: Cardinal Rules - on protecting yourself from financial catastrophe
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From TheJournal.ie
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Column: Cardinal Rules - on protecting yourself from financial catastrophe

Dec 2nd 2011, 8:20 PM 24 Views 3 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland discusses real money, imaginary money and potential money – with the aid of a chicken, a puppy and a goat.

Column: Cardinal Rules - on hiring housekeepers
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# Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules - on hiring housekeepers

Nov 25th 2011, 7:25 PM 15 Views 4 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland gets with the guidelines and indulges in a touch of “positive discrimination” when hiring for the clerical household.

Column: Cardinal Rules - on Occupy Jim Sheridan's gaff
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# Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules - on Occupy Jim Sheridan's gaff

Nov 18th 2011, 8:30 PM 19 Views 8 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland is caught up in #Occupy fever – and decides to #Occupy Jim Sheridan’s €7,000-a-month rented house.

Column: Cardinal Rules - on 'Endaism' (ignoring the worst-case scenario)
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# Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules - on 'Endaism' (ignoring the worst-case scenario)

Nov 11th 2011, 8:30 PM 6 Views 2 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland contemplates the usefulness of looking on the bright side. Incessantly.

Column: Cardinal Rules - On using the Sunday Independent as his bible
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# Column

Column: Cardinal Rules - On using the Sunday Independent as his bible

Nov 4th 2011, 8:30 PM 35 Views 4 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland finds that a certain article about “the gays” could become an “ideological springboard” for him and his clerical pals.

Column: Cardinal Rules - On Bertie Ahern vs Steven Seagal
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# Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules - On Bertie Ahern vs Steven Seagal

Oct 28th 2011, 9:00 PM 1,349 Views 7 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland was torn between the Bertie interview and a Steven Seagal movie on TV – and learned that the two men are not as far apart as you would think…

Column: Cardinal Rules – How to wave goodbye to the IMF
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# Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – How to wave goodbye to the IMF

Oct 14th 2011, 8:14 PM 8 Views 17 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland rubbed shoulders with the likes of Bono, Enda Kenny, Eamon Gilmore and Gabriel Byrne to learn three very important things…

Column: Cardinal Rules - The Dana and Gay Mitchell wars
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# Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules - The Dana and Gay Mitchell wars

Oct 7th 2011, 8:30 PM 7 Views 0 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland has to intervene when his troops split over supporting Gay Mitchell or Dana in the Presidential race. “Fr Ryan blacks out some of Gay’s teeth on a poster…”

Column: Cardinal Rules – There’s a guy outside my Tesco swears he’s Jesus
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Column: Cardinal Rules – There’s a guy outside my Tesco swears he’s Jesus

Sep 30th 2011, 8:59 PM 3 Views 4 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland has a house guest – a bearded young man who wears sandals and speaks in Biblical tones. It couldn’t be… could it?

Column: Cardinal Rules – on Sinn Fein’s presidential campaign
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# Satire

Column: Cardinal Rules – on Sinn Fein’s presidential campaign

Sep 23rd 2011, 8:30 PM 15 Views 41 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland is greeted by the Martin McGuinness supporters – but it all goes terribly wrong…

Column: Cardinal Rules – on the annual trip to Knock
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# Opinion

Column: Cardinal Rules – on the annual trip to Knock

Sep 19th 2011, 7:00 PM 5 Views 5 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland brings the priests on their annual pilgrimage to the Mayo shrine. But is one of his clerical flock tempted by a (not ‘Our’) Lady?

Column: Cardinal Rules – On tour with Il Papa
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# Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – On tour with Il Papa

Aug 27th 2011, 12:00 PM 12 Views 8 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland heads to Madrid to see his Holiness work the crowd and find his inner rock star.

Column: Cardinal Rules - Gaybo for President?
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From TheJournal.ie
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Column: Cardinal Rules - Gaybo for President?

Aug 12th 2011, 7:30 PM 48 Views 26 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland writes that (not) Bishop Brady is upset to discover that the man who hosted the ‘Bishop and the nightie’ debate could be running for the Áras.

Column: Cardinal Rules – Croagh Patrick for purists
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# Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules – Croagh Patrick for purists

Aug 5th 2011, 7:00 PM 13 Views 10 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland details the trials of the recent Reek Sunday – where fun has started to ruin the penitential tradition beloved of (not) Bishop Brophy.

Column: Cardinal Rules – On defending Morrissey
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From TheJournal.ie
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Column: Cardinal Rules – On defending Morrissey

Jul 29th 2011, 8:20 PM 41 Views 9 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland has to play peacekeeper in the terrible row over Morrissey: “an undisputed genius” or “a big mountain of stupid”?

Column: Cardinal Rules – What happens in Lourdes, stays in Lourdes…
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Column: Cardinal Rules – What happens in Lourdes, stays in Lourdes…

Jul 22nd 2011, 7:01 PM 146 Views 10 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland embarks on the annual parish pilgrimage… but will everyone get home safely?

Column: Cardinal Rules – The lesser-known story of Zacchaeus
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Column: Cardinal Rules – The lesser-known story of Zacchaeus

Jul 15th 2011, 9:00 PM 518 Views 27 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland retells the tale of the short tax collector who climbed a fig tree to see Jesus – but wasn’t so hot on inviting Him back to the house for dinner…

Column: Cardinal Rules - Keep your Oxegen, we have Priestopalooza...
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From TheJournal.ie
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Column: Cardinal Rules - Keep your Oxegen, we have Priestopalooza...

Jul 8th 2011, 5:19 PM 19 Views 7 Comments

The (not) Primate of All-Ireland has no intention of heading to Punchestown this weekend – he’s still recovering from a Declan Nerney-inspired stampede at the ‘Weekend for Jesus’ music and prayer festival…

Column: Cardinal Rules - On helping the Pope to tweet
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# Humour

Column: Cardinal Rules - On helping the Pope to tweet

Jul 1st 2011, 7:00 PM 10 Views 4 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland is drafted in to help his Holiness to get to grips with Twitter. “He receives a tweet from the Dalai Lama. ‘Dude,’ it says. We just ignore it.”

Column: Cardinal Rules – On how to organise a social media protest
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Column: Cardinal Rules – On how to organise a social media protest

Jun 24th 2011, 6:05 PM 8 Views 3 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland tries to mobilise The Bebo, The Twitter and The Facebook to protest against a “shocking” art exhibition.

Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 28) - On my pal Padre Pio
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Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 28) - On my pal Padre Pio

Jun 17th 2011, 12:55 PM 14 Views 5 Comments

This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland marks the anniversary of Padre Pio’s canonisation with his recollections of their boyhood friendship… and their caravan holiday in Tramore.

The Daily Fix: Saturday
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From TheJournal.ie
# Daily Fix

The Daily Fix: Saturday

Jun 11th 2011, 7:34 PM 1,223 Views 3 Comments

In the Saturday news Fix: Nuns says they will participate in any Magdalene inquiry; Al Qaeda’s top man in East Africa is dead; the lowdown on The Palin Emails’; and meet Debbie, she really likes cats.

Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 27) - On the presidential campaign trail
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From TheJournal.ie
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Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 27) - On the presidential campaign trail

Jun 11th 2011, 11:57 AM 15 Views 0 Comments

(Not) Cardinal Sean Brady recounts one eventful day on the campaign trail as Bridie Keegan pushes to become president.

Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 26) - Running the Parish newsletter
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Column: Cardinal Rules (Part 26) - Running the Parish newsletter

Jun 5th 2011, 10:54 AM 4 Views 1 Comment

The Not Primate of All Ireland hands over the running of the newsletter to a colleague. Hilarity, inevitably, insues.

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