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We decode the emotional Garth Brooks statement so you don't have to

So many feelings. And dollars.

WELL, IT’S ALL over.

Last night Garth Brooks released an emotional statement confirming that none of the five planned Croke Park gigs will be going ahead.

We’ve read between the lines to bring you his true feelings. You’re welcome.

WHAT HE SAID: ”I have always been advised to NEVER send a message in ‘the moment’. It is best to take a walk, wait awhile, and think about it.”

WHAT HE MEANT:  “I’ve been burned by drunk texting. Once that puppy’s been sent, you can’t get it back. The emojis. The humanity.”

tumblr_mbzmjdt07L1rxd8rh Source: Tumblr

WHAT HE SAID: ”With that said, I just received the news the Irish council cannot change their earlier ruling to not allow the licenses for all five shows.To say I am crushed is an understatement.”

WHAT HE MEANT: “NONONONONONONO! YOU’RE NOT TAKING MY PHONE! I’M SENDING THIS TEXT AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME. YOLO!”

tumblr_inline_msu0ifdG8u1rnvwt1 Source: Tumblr

WHAT HE SAID: ”All I see is my mother’s face and I hear her voice. She always said things happen for a reason and for the right reason.As hard as I try, I cannot see the light on this one.”

WHAT HE MEANT: ”I just have a lot of feelings.”

I-just-have-a-lot-of-feelings Source: Goodbooksandgoodwine

WHAT HE SAID: “So it is with a broken heart, I announce the ticket refunds for the event will go as posted by TicketMaster.”

WHAT HE MEANT: ”Mmmmmf. My money. My delicious money.”

tumblr_inline_mwe58crEat1r1u6ru Source: Tumblr

WHAT HE SAID: “I want to thank the Irish authorities for going the distance for all of us who wanted to share songs and dance together. I really want to thank all the people around the world that continued to think good thoughts that this would actually happen.”

WHAT HE MEANT: ”Except you. And you. And you guys. And those guys there. You know who you are. Sleep with one eye open #shade.”

tanesha-side-eye-gif Source: Okdani

WHAT HE SAID: “Most of all, to Peter Aiken and those 400,000 people who believed enough to go through what they have been through to get to this point…I love you, always have, always will.”

WHAT HE MEANT: ”I’m crying now. So many feelings. Listening to The Dance. By Garth Brooks. That’s me. Love me. “Looking back on the memory of…”

30488-Woody-Harrelson-crying-money-b-8fc5 Source: Pandawhale

WHAT HE SAID: “I encourage any and all of them that can come see the show, at some point around the world, to bring your Irish flags and waive them proudly at the concerts.”

WHAT HE MEANT: ”Tickets on sale this week. $125 plus booking fee.”

Robin-Thicke-I-Know-You-Want-It-Blurred-Lines Source: Nocookie

WHAT HE SAID:  ”I will be looking for you.…garth.”

WHAT HE MEANT: ”It puts the lotion in the basket.”

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About the author:

Emer McLysaght

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