LAST YEAR, EAMON Dunphy and Johnny Giles surprised us by dancing their socks off in a delightfully strange Cadbury ad.
This year, Cadbury is continuing the trend with dear Louis Walsh, boyband mogul and former X Factor judge. The ad got its first airing last night during Celebrity Big Brother, and the reaction was uniform:
We’ve watched the ad, and we’re a little baffled. We have a few important questions we’d like answered immediately.
1. Why are people watching Louis?
Who’s doing that, and why? Is there an entire dystopian universe this ad is only hinting at? (Also: Daily Moan. Nice shade.)
2. Why is there only a single onion in his fridge?
Where has he been? Another indication that something absolutely terrible has happened to the rest of the planet.
3. Why would he choose a whisk as his microphone?
Louis, you know enough about music to know that one of those metal spoons is your only man.
4. Where did he learn these moves?
We’ve certainly never seen him pull out the ‘whisk the air’ step on the X Factor.
Or, indeed, this joyful jump:
BRB, buying a whisk to bring to da clurb tonight.
5. Does Louis Walsh really speak like our granny?
We don’t really know anyone else who says “See you shortly”.
6. Where is he going ‘back’ to?
Let’s examine the evidence. The clock on the wall reads 7.55pm. Louis has recently left his role as a judge on the X Factor, which usually began at 8pm on Saturday nights.
We can only assume that the sinister regime watching Louis has figured out a way to trick him into surrendering. Stay strong, Louis.