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Dublin: 19 °C Saturday 20 April, 2019


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Another year, another bunch of hopeful girls battling (but sadly, not literally battling) to be the Rose of Tralee.

We at were here to liveblog all the action from the first night, and sat through dung spitting, ‘interesting’ cover versions, and self-written poems. So. Many. Self-written poems.

Here’s how it all went down, Rose by Rose by Rose.

Are we ready? Eastenders is nearly over, and the hour is finally here.

So let us gaze upon Dáithí’s fearful face one last time before we enter the void:


And we’re in the Dome! The banners have gotten awful fancy this year, we have to say.

Hats off to Aisling’s mammy with her homemade effort, TBH:


Let’s just take a minute to admire outgoing Rose of Tralee Maria Walsh, who looks STUNNING, as per.


Our first Rose, Aisling Hillary (whose mam made that charming sign, BTW), came out to the Eastenders theme tune, if you don’t mind.

And Dáithí makes a water charges joke STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GATE, referring to the London Rose’s work in Africa.

This Rose of Tralee broadcast is going to be a #topical one, my friends.


And the London Rose sings Mary Black’s No Fronteirs for her talent. We would have preferred A Woman’s Heart or Katie, but that’s just our opinion…

The Kerry Rose used to work in Supermacs, so she obviously knows her way around a curry cheese chip.

Curry-Cheese-Chips Source: Supermacs

A woman after our own hearts.

The Kerry Rose is also the first one to pull out a self-written poem, backed by a mournful flute.

kerry rose2

We do love a bit of mournful flute.

The Cork Rose is doing science as her talent, and got Dáithí to assist her. Unfortunately all he’s able for is an atrocious Bono impression and making his gloves into ‘turkeys’.


Dáithí, pls. This is a serious business.

We’re ruminating on the Cork Rose’s Coppers love story. Could it really be true? Could all those nights on the sweaty, sweaty dancefloor not be in vain?

Could we bag a lad who takes us to the bog on a date? Please say yes.


After a quick break, we’re back with the Southern California Rose, Lauren Waller.

Her gúna is a little bit Elsa from Frozen, and we’re suprisingly OK with it. Also, your lipstick is FAB HUN.


The California Rose has stressed that she is a singer and performer, so it’s no surprise she’s pulled out a song for her talent.

It’s No Doubt-esque. Her dad isn’t into it.


Next up is the Wicklow Rose, and the youngest Rose this year.

She’s just done her Leaving, and has come out today looking radiant and unstressed. When we did our Leaving, you couldn’t see us for Doritos crumbs. Just saying.


We do believe the Melbourne Rose and Maria Walsh are wearing the same (Newbridge, presumably) neckpiece. EEEK.


Important update: We may have just had the first onstage spitting at the Rose of Tralee, ever.

Oh we’re all mod, now.


Another break, thank god. We need a minute to get over the Melbourne Rose and her dung-spitting, and reflect on why WE weren’t Roses after we did our Leaving Cert.


We can’t say we’re ever normally disappointed to see the glamorous Eileen Dunne, but this news break is really harshing our buzz.

eileen dunne

And when is a Rose going to dance? Serious lack of diversity in the talents so far – of course, we’re not talking about ScienceBae AKA the Cork Rose, who did a marvellous job with hers.

Pity Dáithí was no help.

roflbot (34)

Will we have a little sing song while we’re waiting? How about Caledonia?

All together now: I don’t knooooow if you can seeee, the changes that have come over meeeee…

We’re FINALLY back.

First on after the break is Meath Rose, Alicia Brennan, who went on the Tayto Park rollercoaster in her introductory video. Look how casual the lad next to her is trying to be:


The Meath Rose has just admitted she’s such a fan of the Late Late Show that she asks her friends not to text her while she’s watching it.

She almost lost us there, but brought us around again with the second Mary Black cover of the night, The Bright Blue Rose. You really can’t beat a bit of Mary.


The Kentucky Rose has informed us that her home state is indeed the land of KFC. But does that trump the Kerry Rose working in Supermacs? No.


The Kentucky Rose’s talent is the ballet barre, a sort of exercise (we wouldn’t really know anything about that type of thing).

The real news here is that she’s gotten Dáithí to wear a tutu.


The South Australia Rose has gotten lost in all the ballet madness, but she also has a self-penned poem to read about her Irish roots.

She just rhymed ‘land’ with ‘grand’, so you get the jist.


A fun fact about the Boston Rose is that she was an extra in Orange Is The New Black last year.

She describes it to the audience as a “little scandalous”. Yeah, just a little…


The OITNB Rose sang Sweet Child Of Mine by Guns’N'Roses for her talent, which Dáithí proclaims is his ‘favourite song’.

You can just picture him getting down to that on the dancefloor at a wedding at 2am, can’t you? Tie around his head? You can.

Mike Denver! All the country heads reading will know that Mike Denver performing is a HUGE deal.



What we have to say about the Perth Rose is that her boyfriend looks like Ryan Tubridy.


RoT fatigue may be setting in.

The Monaghan Rose is just after MORTIFYING the Louth Rose on stage by telling everyone that the Louth Rose fancies her brother.

Breaking Girl Code in front of the whole country! NOT SOUND.


The Monaghan Rose also has a good luck banner from her dog. Her DOG.

The RoT fatigue is turning to RoT madness. Save us.


Dáithí just questioned the Longford Rose, teacher Daphne Howard, on religion.

Why? No one will ever know.


The Longford Rose also had the pleasure* of the camera man having a speed wobble and getting all up in her hurr do.


Source: Clare Cullen/Clisare/Vine

Thanks to @Clisare for the Vine!

The Dubai Rose has just revealed she got SEVEN speeding tickets in Dubai. This, sadly, is not her talent. It’s ANOTHER BLOODY POEM.


Now we’re getting a glimpse of the escorts, who underwent a thrilling initiation involving sheep shearing, potato peeling, turf cutting and horse riding.



The three finalists for Escort of the Year have been selected, but none of them are this lad wearing the stetson.

stetson escort

What sort of madness is this? How can you overlook Stetson Escort?

The Darwin Rose just recited the names of all 32 counties in nine seconds. Now THAT’S a talent.


She also has this amazing sign going for her in the crowd:


Yet another Rose throwing her fellow Roses under the bus by revealing their crushes on the escorts. New Zealand Rose, how could you!


The Derry Rose’s dream in life is to be a ‘full time Disney Princess’. So Dáithí made that dream come true, by Photoshopping her into various Disney Princess costumes. Oh, and adding himself too, because he’s a gas ticket:


She also gave us our first dancing talent of the night. Thank CHRIST. We can’t take another poem.


And that’s it! Tomorrow we’ll have round two, with a special performance from Daniel O’Donnell (SCREAM).

So it’s goodbye from us, goodbye from the gals, and goodbye to the Dome in Tralee. For now.


Tomorrow night, we do it all over again…