SOME THINGS ARE simply rites of passage in life, and going off the rails after a break-up is one of them.
We’ve all been that soldier. Here’s what to do post break-up…
1. Get an ill-advised haircut
Image: via Good News Weekly
It’s the most clichéd of the bunch, but nearly every broken-hearted girl falls victim to it. Wash that man right out of your hair, but whatever you do – don’t be tempted by the Britney razor blade.
2. Drown your sorrows
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You’re free of your relationship shackles! You don’t owe anyone anything! You’ve got a lot of time and shifts to catch up on! Paint the town red! Paint the bathroom floor with red wine!
3. Eat a lot of cake
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If you’re not gonna go on a mad one to get over it, the least you can do is eat a lot of chocolate. And pizza. And maybe some chips.
4. Cry at the drop of a hat
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You’ll cry at almost any song on the radio. You’ll cry when someone asks you are you alright (even if you are alright!). You’ll cry when you drop your pen. You’ll cry during a 30 second road safety ad. You’ll cry when you spot an overflowing bin you two once walked by together. In other words, you’ll cry at bloody anything.
5. Overshare on social media
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Using your Facebook status as a cryptic diary. “Just had the worst day ever… Is it ever going to get better?” Resist the temptation and don’t give in to social need-ia.
6. Have the sentbox from hell
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Oh for the love of all that is holy, delete their number.
7. Show them
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Congrats! You’re feelin’ sassy and over it. However, if your life now revolves around showing your ex how “over it” you are, then you are not over it.
8. Become the worst friend ever
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Temporarily, you are going to be a truly lousy friend. All you’ll talk about is yourself and your relationship. A few ears are going to get bent over it, but isn’t that what friends are for? Just try and be there for your mate when it happens to them!
9. Take up a new hobby
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Everyone sensible will recommend that you take up a hobby after you get dumped. Well, guess what? Your brand new hobby is going to be checking your ex’s Facebook obsessively every 5 minutes. Sorry.
10. Get over it
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As unlikely as it seems at the time, you will get over it. Your mammy will say time heals all – and she’s right, as usual.
Of course, there is no magic formula to getting over that someone special. But if you find yourself crying at a bus ticket, abusing redial on your phone or lopping off your locks after a break-up – know that you’re not alone. God bless now.
