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Dublin: 14 °C Thursday 24 May, 2018

9 biscuits your mam would never buy you, and 5 that she definitely would

Please, not Rich Teas again. PLEASE.

IT’S FRIDAY AFTERNOON, and you deserve a treat.

How about a nice sit down, a cup of tea, and a packet of what we like to call “going out biscuits”.

You know the ones: traditionally brought out for visitors or special occasions, usually with some kind of chocolate or jam adornment or even (gasp) covered in foil.

The very ones your mam would never buy you…

1. Jammy Dodgers

According to one DailyEdger these were:


via YouTube/Flickr/Creative Commons

2. Toffypops

Even if these were purchased, they would last for approximately 6 minutes after the Big Shop.

3. Pink wafers

Irish mammies would never buy something so unnaturally coloured (apart from Kia Ora and gravy granules of course).

Also, how lucky was this person? A pink wafer birthday cake… aka THE DREAM!

via Flickr/Creative Commons/TwoKingsConfections

4. Iced rings

Again with the garish colours.

via Tumblr

5. Viscounts

These were wrapped in foil and therefore SUPER fancy. In a cruel twist of irony, they are now often spotted in the bargain sections of overpriced convenience stores.

How the mighty have fallen.

6. The holy trinity

Kimberley, Mikado and Coconut Creams. You might get these on your birthday, or if there were visitors coming over.


7. Jaffa Cakes

Full moon, half moon, total ‘clipse!

via Bengy1664

8. Any biscuits in a tin

Opening biscuits that are in a tin if it’s not Christmas or a visitor-filled Sunday afternoon remains a travesty to this day.

And as for going for the nice ones in the second layer… YOU SIT ON YOUR HANDS!

And as for the biscuits she would definitely would buy…

1. Rich Tea

So very beige.

2. Digestives

The beige brother of the Rich Tea. Smells like fake tan.

via Cakecuccino

3. Garibaldi

Biscuits with squashed flies in them. Sick and wrong.

via Wikimedia Commons

4. Bourbon creams

Your ma would try to convince you these were fancy. They were not.

5. Fig rolls

Sure these were almost fruit.

Tell us about your biscuit fantasies in the comments…

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About the author:

Emer McLysaght

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