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Dublin: 13 °C Wednesday 19 September, 2018
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6 ways of coping with the fact that the Boom is back

Rents are now higher than they were at the height of the Boom and frankly, we’re not able.

TODAY DAFT.IE RELEASED a report which has confirmed what we all knew already. Rents are now higher than they were at the peak of the Boom which means the Boom is back, baby.

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Oh yeah, love that sweet, sweet feeling of barely being able to afford rent in the capital and the government seeming to not care about it, at all.

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So how do we cope with this horrible situation we’ve found ourselves in through no fault of our own? Here are some suggestions.

1. Buy as many avocados as possible

Living up the expectations of baby boomers is something we’re supposed to strive for. However, given they own all the houses, it’s time we took our revenge by buying as many avocados as possible and throwing them at the houses. It might not be useful but it’s very therapeutic.

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2. Scream anywhere and everywhere

If babies and small children are allowed scream wherever they want in public then so should we. Scream on the bus, scream in Starbucks, organise a Facebook event where we can all just scream at the Spire. I’m sure it’ll help.

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3. Put a curse on Air BnB

We can’t blame Air BnB for all of our problems but given how many vacant properties are on it when they could be rented out instead, we feel the time has come for extreme measures. Design a voodoo doll based on the Air BnB logo and let’s get cursing. It can’t hurt.

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4. Move in with a government minister

Given they’re supposed to be building houses and they’re not, it’s only fair that we get to move in with them. Have a sleepover with Simon Harris, move into Eoghan Murphy’s spare room or turn up to Leo Varadkar’s gaff to see how early he really gets up.

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5. Just lie down

It doesn’t matter where. Life is stressful enough as is and the Boom is only going to make it worse. So just, lie down. You deserve it.

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6. Emigrate

Sure that’s what we’re best at right? What’s the weather like in Australia at the moment?

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About the author:

Rachel O'Neill

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