1. Space was at an extreme premium in Larkfield
You could walk the length of a room in two strides.
2. But residents were always surprisingly resourceful
“If two people sit up on the desk, and one person stands in the wardrobe, we have room for… ten more people. Maybe.”
3. The common rooms were almost always locked by security due to bad behaviour
The roof tiles and scratchy armchairs got much undue punishment from rowdy students. We’re sorry, roof tiles and scratchy armchairs.
4. Ground floor Larkfield rooms were bad for everything except creeping on people in the courtyard
Otherwise your blinds were permanently pulled down so people couldn’t creep on YOU.
5. Moving to Hampstead was seen as a massive step up
“Hello, may I please interest you in a seat in my LIVING ROOM? Or the chance to do a wee in my ENSUITE?”
6. But College Park was considered a house of unspeakable luxuries
The DCU website stresses that College Park is ‘fitted and furnished to a very high standard’, unlike all the other apartment blocks. SWISH.
7. Everybody had one roommate who basically never surfaced from their bedroom
Did they have a paraffin stove in there? Is that how they survived?
8. Wanting to bring someone back after midnight was a game of chance
Have you signed them in? No? Then they’re going to have to do some gate-hopping.
9. And campus security was relentless
Make ONE PEEP after 11pm and they were all over you.
10. Yet there was always someone blasting music until all hours
The good part is you can now sleep through anything. A n y t h i n g.
11. If you stayed in Larkfield over the weekend, you were rewarded with a loud fire drill every Saturday afternoon
We refuse to believe that someone, somewhere wasn’t taking sick pleasure from this.
12. Room inspections were a scourge
Room inspection week: Where there was a waiting list for the hoover and the bottle banks were jammed to the gills.
13. And fines were a menace
Fines for posters on the walls! Fines for marks where you once had a poster on the wall that you sneakily took down before the inspection! FINES!
14. But your place was always the hub of friend activity
And that was worth putting up with the sleepless nights and pseudo-mammying you got from the college. DCU forever!