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Let me be your hero

An important analysis of the music video for Enrique Iglesias's 'Hero'

The most intense pop song of our time.

THE YEAR IS 2001 and Enrique Iglesias has just released the most intense pop song that has ever existed. I am of course talking about ‘Hero’.

Enrique Iglesias at Meteor Awards Enrique at the 2002 Meteor Awards in Dublin. PA Archive / PA Images PA Archive / PA Images / PA Images

My own personal history with ‘Hero’ is a checkered one. Once during Spanish class in 2nd year, my Spanish teacher said out loud to the class that she could envisage one of the lads in the class getting down and one knee and singing ’Hero’ to me. Given we were both 14 at the time, this was incredibly awkward although we did end up dating a few years later. He never did sing ‘Hero’ to me though much to my disappointment.

‘Hero’ was just one of the many bops that came from Enrique’s album ‘Escape’ which included the everlasting banger that is ‘Escape’. The music videos for both ‘Escape’ and ‘Hero’ contained a lot of shirtless Enrique much to the delight of many but it is ‘Hero’ which takes the award for cheesiest pop video.

Let’s examine why.

EnriqueIglesiasVEVO / YouTube

Firstly, we need to discuss Enrique’s beanie and sunglasses combination. It’s very early 2000s as we’ve seen in previous videos such as Justin Timberlake’s ‘Like I Love You’.

Secondly, why on earth would you be wearing a beanie in a desert? If you’re going to protect your head from the sun, a sun hat or cap is probably a better option. You’re just going to overheat in a beanie Enrique.

Utterly impractical.

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Thirdly, how has it taken this long for us to realise that Enrique’s girlfriend/accomplice/wife Jennifer Love Hewitt is the absolute spit of the Saturday’s Una Healy?

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They could be sisters lads.

The couple (who henceforth will be known as Jenrique) have a blatant disregard for money too. They have evidently robbed a bank and gotten away with a good bit of money and yet the bag is OPEN in a SPEEDING CAR allowing the money to just FLOAT AWAY? Clearly someone doesn’t have to worry about rent.

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As well as that, Enrique wastes no opportunity to sing intensely at any object around the place.

There’s the piano.

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And the car.

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And of course, Jennifer’s neck.

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Also, I know this video is supposed to be devastatingly romantic but I cannot for the life of me work out why Jenrique are up on their knees on what looks like a very comfortable bed. There are surely better positions to shift in that won’t cripple your legs?

Won’t someone please think of the back support!?

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We haven’t even gotten to the best part of the video yet which is the plot. Basically from what I can make out Jenrique are on the run from some mob boss/Jennifer’s ex/Jennifer’s dad who they stole all the money from.

The gang are following Jenrique presumably by the trail of money the couple let spill behind the car which proves you should always make sure that your money bag is closed lest you want to be followed by your girlfriend’s ex/da (I can’t tell which).

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This incredible plotline culminates in a dramatic standoff where Jenrique must confront the gang but alas it’s not so simple. Enrique is challenged to a duel and basically seems to get bashed half to death with a pipe. Then SUDDENLY it’s raining and the gang has disappeared leaving us with a soaking wet Jennifer and a very battered Enrique.

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It’s safe to assume that the duel hasn’t gone well.

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Does he survive? Is Jenrieuqe’s love everlasting? We’ll never know.

What we do know is that Enrique is always on standby to be our hero if and when we need him because that’s just the kind of guy he is.

A hero.

GIPHY GIPHY

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