1. Figuring out what you were giving up for Lent on Pancake Tuesday
“Em… sweets! I’m giving up sweets this year.”
*horses into pancakes*
2. And telling yourself that it was okay to break it on St. Patrick’s Day… and at your pal Aoife’s birthday party… and every Saturday
“I’m pretty sure the Bible says it’s alright to eat Rice Krispies buns at birthday parties.”
3. Borrowing money from the Trócaire Box and feeling guilty about it until Christmas
4. Witnessing your Mam throwing any bit of loose change she can find into the Trócaire Box on the day it’s due back in
After neglecting to put money in it for weeks.
5. Being paranoid about your forehead looking a state on Ash Wednesday
And spending some extra time in the school bathroom strategically trying to strategically cover it with your hair.
6. Having nothing to say to the priest at confession and just making some sins up
7. Or, indeed, robbing ideas from people in your class
“What are you saying to the priest?” “I’m saying sorry for the time I pushed my sister.” “Cool, I’ll go with that, too.”
8. Harshly judging people who received communion on the tongue
You awful craytur.
9. Kneeling down after receiving communion and not sitting up in your seat until you see other people doing so
*pretends to be in deep prayer*
10. Basing your entire opinion on a priest’s character based on how quick his Mass was
11. Skipping Mass and consulting one of your mates to see who said it so you could prove you were there
“It was Fr. Kelly and it was a lovely mass, so put that in your pipe and smoke it, Mam.”
12. Agonising for weeks over what to choose as your confirmation name… and then picking the most stereotypical Catholic name imaginable
“I’ve thought long and hard about it, and I’ve picked… Joseph.”
13. Feeling inexplicably guilty if you eat meat on Good Friday
14. And lying to your mam about what you had for dinner just in case
“I’m having haddock. It’s soooo lovely!”
*horses into steak*
15. Not being able to remember 90% of what you learned in school, but still being able to remember every hymn you ever learned
*belts out Zacchaeus*
16. Not being able to hear the phrase “May the force with be you” without feeling the need to say “And also with you”
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