TOP TIP: DON’T follow these tips.
1. Ladies, gently stab your man with a fork.
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He’ll love it.
2. “The sugary texture of your tongue will add an interesting new dimension.”
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3. Burn him with piping hot candle wax!
4. Don’t have a hair tie? Use a thong.
*shakes head*
5. They “look cool”, do they?
6. Flirt with your man by accusing his Dad of coming on to you.
7. “Elegant” might be stretching it.
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8. Very cool look.
Such chic, such fashion.
9. Well, if he says it.
*stuffs €3 Penneys necklace in toilet roll, forgets about it immediately*
10. Nope.
11. Just some normal dinner chat.
Couldn’t be construed as mildly threatening/aggressive at all.
12. Here lads, don’t be donating to those pesky charities.
Just keep the collection bag for yourself and you’ll come out of the situation looking real good.
13. Finally, we don’t even know what to say about this.
We’ll take your word for it, Davina.
