WE ALL KNOW by now that the New York Times thinks putting peas in guacamole is acceptable, which clearly it is not.
Here are some other people who no doubt have similar feelings…
The kinds of people who leave voicemails at music festivals
We are never going to listen to them. Ever.
The kinds of people of leave voicemails fullstop
They make us anxious. Please respect this.
The kinds of people who pretend not to have heard of celebrities
YOU DO KNOW YOU KIM KARDASHIAN IS. YOU SIMPLY DO.
The kinds of people who would do this to your favourite book
The kinds of people who walk slowly in front of you on the path
No no, please, take your time. Fan out. Ramble on.
The kinds of people who use two different cards at the ATM
Can’t they hear our loud sighing?
The kinds of people who play music loudly off their phones in public
Oh. More Drake. Great.
The kinds of people who cut in front of you suddenly in traffic, meaning you end up sitting in the yellow box
DAMN YOU PEOPLE. ENJOY YOUR PEA GUACAMOLE.
The kinds of people who use their phone when the lights have gone down at the cinema
We can see your big stupid head lit up like Christmas, you know?
The kinds of people who tell you your ex’s new boyfriend/girlfriend is “actually really nice”
Oh you’re just SO SOUND TO EVERYONE.
The kind of person who does ‘gas’ things like this
