THE WIKIPEDIA PAGE for Cáca Milis sums up the film pretty succinctly.
But there are still many questions we need to ask about this film. Let’s begin.
1. Did Catherine’s mother ever get to go to the toilet in the end?
2. Why did Catherine give the carer her entire car, instead of just her mother?
3. Where was Catherine off to in that outfit?
Work? A court date for killing some other elderly person? Who knows?
4. Why was a mother, her daughter and her carer conversing in Irish at Killester DART station? It’s not exactly the Gaeltacht.
5. What are the chances that the next passenger to enter the train would also be speaking Irish?
6. How were there so many empty seats on an Irish train? Very unrealistic.
7. What erotic novel was Catherine reading?
This part made every class erupt into laughter.
8. Why was there so much icing on Paul’s cake?
The icing to cake ratio is criminal.
9. Why didn’t Catherine just tell Paul that she wasn’t very good at speaking Irish when he started to annoy her?
This could have saved her a lot of bother.
10. Why does Paul dress like he writes for Vice?
11. Why did Paul put four sugars in his tiny coffee?
It’s a shame he didn’t live to see the Frappucinos of 2017 that contain 20 teaspoons of sugar. He would have been all over that.
12. Was there any need for Paul to eat the cake like that?
Swallow your bit of cake before you start knocking back the coffee.
13. Can somebody ask Brendan Gleeson how he felt about filming this scene? Please.
14. After going to all of the trouble to get his coffee, why did he decide he’d only eat one fistful of his cake?
15. Then why does he decide that “later” is less than 30 seconds after he wrapped the cake up?
16. How did things escalate so quickly?
17. Why didn’t Catherine just get up and move seat instead of committing to murdering this blind man?
18. How would a worm even get into a cake? Can worms climb up onto counters?
19. How did Catherine’s mother manage to survive for so long if she gets irritated to the point of murder by an 8 minute conversation with this man?
20. Where’s Catherine now?
Cáca Milis was made in 2001. Sixteen years ago. Cáca Milis is the same age as the teenagers studying it on the Leaving Cert this year. In those 16 years Catherine has been in Fair City (of course), Veronica Guerin and several other projects.
