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irish dates

9 dating tips all Irish people will understand

Just don’t express any feelings and you’re good to go.

DATING IN IRELAND is a lot different to dating in the movies.

It’s less courting, more drunken chats over a post-nightclub kebab. Here are some super-serious tips to getting it RIGHT on this day of days.

1. Get your mate to set you up

It’s totally not cool to actually approach someone and express interest. What are you, desperate? Get your friend to do the talking, so you can skip it all and get down to the drunken, dark, shift.

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2. Don’t ask them out straight away

Or even let them know you like them, really. Just keep texting them until they eventually give you the slightest hint that they want to meet up. This may take up to a month, so be patient.

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RED. HOT.

3. In fact, don’t ask them out at all

Just meet up. Dates are for bowel movements and American teen rom-coms. Just do what you’d normally do, but with them. So romantic, really.

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4. The cinema is the only option for the first meet-up

In our Irish minds, it’s perfect. There’s always one nearby, and it’s got a perfect dark, loud environment that will prevent you from speaking or communicating with each other for a few hours.

Cinema Leo Hidalgo (@yompyz) Leo Hidalgo (@yompyz)

5. Make paying for things as awkward as possible

At the ticket booth, the snack counter, at the pub afterwards… always stall as long as possible to see if the other will pay. You don’t want the woman to get offended, but you don’t want the guy to think you’re looking for a free ride or dismissing his attempts to treat you–so best to just play chicken.

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6. Small talk should be kept to who you have in common and where you went to college

It doesn’t matter how old you are.

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7. Don’t immediately text back

What are you, still desperate?

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8. Put more time into getting their mammy to like you than them themselves

Don’t even bother trying to impress them past the third date, it’s all about getting in with their mammy now.

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9. Don’t compliment each other past the first few dates

We don’t want them losing the run of themselves, and you’ll both just get embarrassed.

Hephee_you_ll_do Designist Designist

Happy dating!

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