1. Hoarding “emergency” birthday cards
Because you never know when you’re going to
2. Pushing Evening Primrose Oil on their children
Especially when she can sense that you’re a bit narky/menstrual. “Get some Evening Primrose Oil into you and you’ll be grand.”
3. Instinctively grabbing your hand when you cross the road… even though you’re 26 years of age
Oh Mam.
<3
4. Trying on clothes in the middle of the shop
“You’ll be grand, nobody’s looking at you!”
UGH, MAM, YOU’RE EMBARRASSING ME.
5. Signing their name at the end of the text
Just in case you forget who it is.
6. Signing texts with “LOL” because they think it means “Lots of love”
7. Having “good” towels, “good” biscuits, “good” reusable shopping bags, “good” bed linen, “good” plates etc.
Don’t touch them! They’re the good ice-cream bowls.
8. Being stingy with the heating
Children: [sitting there with a hopeful look in their eyes]
Mam: “Okay, we’ll turn on the heating.”
Children: “Hurray!”
9. Gleefully saying, “Who’s she, the cat’s mother?”
They just can’t resist it.
It’s in their DNA.
10. Forcing everyone to take off their coat when they get inside
“Get that coat off you.”
“But I’m heading off in 2 minutes.”
“I said… get that coat off you or it’ll be no use to you outside.”
“Yes, Mam.”
11. Calling DVDs “videos”
Bless.
12. Saying the words “pregnant” or “partner” in hushed tones
“His partner is pregnant.”
13. Sharing gas memes on Facebook
Mams.
You’ve gotta love ‘em.
