AH MONDAY NIGHT. It’s good and bad. Monday is almost over, but Tuesday aka the second worst day ever is creeping even closer.
Expect one or more of these thoughts to run through your resting head as you try to drift off.
1. The existential crisis
Seriously, what’s the point? What’s the meaning of all this? We go to work, come home, go to bed, go to work. Oh look, it’s 3am and we still don’t have the answer to the meaning of life, AGAIN.
You may also contemplate the important things.
2. That embarrassing moment from this morning
Oh my God remember when you didn’t see that guy from accounts coming up behind you and you practically slammed the door in his face? Yeah, he hates you now and is going to mess up your wages this month.
You definitely should have apologised more, or at least said a few of this selection of witty quips to ease the situation.
3. That embarrassing moment from when you were 16
That is how everyone remembered you then, and now henceforth.
4. That noise you just heard
When did that attic door get there? Was that always there? What’s in it? Let’s be honest, this rental is ancient, who knows what kind of manifestations have arisen over the years.
Tonight is the night they march.
5. How much sleep will I get?
By the time you’ve calculated it, you’ll need to re-calculate.
6. Your to do list
You really need to pay that bill before your electricity gets cut off. You need to get a present for your nieces birthday party. Oh and don’t forget your car tax is nearly up.
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO REMEMBER ALL OF THIS?
Better get up and get a notepad to write it all down.
7. I should really turn off Netflix
One more episode is a damn LIE and you know it. No regrets.
8. Maybe something amazing has happened on social media
It hasn’t, but you’ll continue to check until it’s only Americans and friends in Australia that are posting any form of update to Facebook and Twitter.
Then, and only then, you can begin contemplating the merits of emigrating in eye-watering detail.
9. Everything you didn’t do
You’re going to change your life, you just know it. It just took these sleepless few hours to help you realise it. Tomorrow is when it will all start… tomorrow.
On that note, happy sleeping!
