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Dublin: 15 °C Wednesday 18 July, 2018
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An Irish person's guide to surviving the 'It's Coming Home' fever

The ridiculously catchy song has invaded every aspect of social media and our lives.

ENGLAND ARE INTO a World Cup semi-final which is not something I ever anticipated writing in 2018.

As a result of this epic feat, social media has been awash with every type of ‘It’s coming home’ meme that you could ever imagine, from Father Ted to the Shawshank Redemption.

This has also led to what I like to call ‘It’s Coming Home Fever’, a type of infection that is ruining my life entirely.

It’s a sickness that doesn’t present with any physical symptoms other than the occasional singing of ‘It’s coming home’ to yourself before you realise what you’re doing and snap yourself out of it.

What’s worse is that you can snap yourself out of singing it, but you can’t snap your brain out of repeating ‘It’s coming home’ over and over again until you’re curled up crying on the floor, knowing that the leaders of the 1916 Rising would be turning in their graves if they could hear what was going on in your head.

Ok, maybe that’s a slight overreaction but you get where I’m coming from.

The point is that the infectious nature of the song is possibly the most annoying thing about this World Cup so far. That and the fans taking the lovely song ‘September’ by Earth, Wind and Fire and replacing the chorus with ‘England are going all the way, a crime which should frankly be tried in the Hague.

Is there any treatment? Is there anything that can save me from this infection that is slowly destroying my brain?

Evidently not, as the only thing I want to happen now is for England to lose on penalties to Croatia on Wednesday night. This is the very petty course of action that might save me from the delirium of singing ‘It’s Coming Home’ over and over again in my sleep until my boyfriend breaks up with me.

Again, a slight overreaction but this song has been stuck in my head for a week and I’m definitely losing my mind.

I have family in the UK, I like Gareth Southgate and a good few of the players, and if it was any other country, I’d probably want them to go all the way. But because it’s England and I haven’t been able to stop singing ‘It’s coming home’ for a week, I’m afraid I must beg Croatia to stop this madness and kick England out of the World Cup (insert your own ‘Brits Out’ joke here).

Our sanity simply depends on it.

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About the author:

Rachel O'Neill

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