WHENEVER IRELAND gets even a taste (just a taste) of summer, every woman longs to rip off her opaques and expose her legs to the sun.
But every time, we get the rug pulled out from under us when the rain, wind, and grey skies return again. Will there ever be a year when we’re not faced with this dilemma?
There comes a certain time when it just feels wrong to be wearing tights
Usually around the end of April, when there’s a sniff of warmth in the air and an unmistakable Grand Stretch.
But you can’t just say “Ah, I won’t wear tights today”
Would that it were so simple.
And why is that? Because not wearing tights requires a degree of preparedness
Legs need to be shaved and moisturised, if you’re into that. Tan needs to be applied (again, if you’re into that).
You look the fool if you take all these steps only to discover it’s due to rain
Why did I spend all that time shaving? I could have spent it SITTING DOWN.
But also, you look the fool wearing 80 deniers when men are roaming around shirtless
Foiled by Ireland’s ridiculous weather, AGAIN.
Basically what we need is the tech-heads to focus on the real issues…
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Apple! Microsoft! Anyone! We demand a weather app for tights-loving women!
…And allow us to stop spending precious minutes of our lives thinking about hosiery
We have other things to do, like drink pints in the sun.
But remember girls:
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Good luck, all of you.
