AS 2015 DRAWS to a close, here are some things we’ll be only delighted to see the back of.
1. Minions
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We have no issue with children enjoying Minions. After all, it’s for them.
But what we do have an issue with is Minion memes clogging up our Facebook timeline and Penneys devoting important resources to making Minions sock, Minions t-shirts and Minions pyjama bottoms for adults.
END THE MINIONS TYRANNY.
2. Man buns
Let’s make one thing clear: man buns in and of themselves are not that objectionable. Some men (read: Jared Leto) even look very nice with a man bun.
What we’ve had enough of is the actual hysteria surrounding man buns. If people aren’t setting up Instagram accounts in their honour, they’re giving out absolute yards about how stupid they look.
Enough! It’s neither the best thing to ever happen, nor the worst thing to ever happen. It’s a hairstyle. Chill.
3. Pictures of Eggs Benedict
In 2016, we would like to log on to Instagram and not be confronted with dozens of images of okay-looking brunches.
No more eggs benedict, no more huevos rancheros, no more avocado on toast. Deal?
4. Taylor Swift and her gang of friends
Source: taylorswiftTaylor, we love you, but if you continue bringing your clatter of model friends on stage with you and generally behaving as though you invented the concept of female friendship, we'll have to break up.
5. Rita Ora saying "I'm ready"
"Umreddeh"
6. The cry laughing emoji
In particular, sticking cry laughing emojis at the end of inane texts/tweets/Facebook statuses like, "Missed the bus!"
COME ON.
7. Hotline Bling
http://vine.co/v/eVKeHiPAAOj
Don't get us wrong. We love (and kind of fancy) Drake and Hotline Bling is a brilliant slow jam. But of course the internet had to go and ruin a good thing by completely overdoing it.
For a while there, people seemed to only be communicating through the medium of Hotline Bling Vines. "Haha, this is the best one yet," people would write, sharing a video of Drake dancing to the theme song from Seinfeld or whatever.
Fortunately, we got through it.
8. Sickeningly expensive gaffs in Dublin
"Spacious bedroom located under stairs available in Dublin 8. Young professionals only, six month deposit required. Those who present a lock of unicorn hair will receive preferential treatment."
STOP THIS MADNESS.
9. The phrase "Netflix and chill"
Actually more offensive than just saying "riding", tbh.
10. People pretending to not know who One Direction or the Kardashians are
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Look, you may not like One Direction and you may resent Kim Kardashian being all over the internet. But pretending that you don't know who they are is completely disingenuous and silly.
"Who?" You know bloody well who.
11. The word 'artisan'
So overused that it's basically lost all meaning now. If even McDonald's are trying to refer to their burgers as 'artisan', you know it's time to retire the word.
12. JK Rowling making up stuff about Harry Potter... eight years after the series finished
Joanne. We love you and we appreciate everything you've done over the years, but you have got to stop making things up.
We don't need to be told that Dumbledore would have supported Jeremy Corbyn or find out what Hagrid would have to say to bodyshamers. They're made-up characters from a children's book!
Enough.
13. Restaurants serving their food on things that aren't plates
Things that aren't plates:
- Wooden slabs
- Glasses
- Tree stumps
- Shovels
- Licence plates
- Toy tractors
Things that are plates:
- Plates
14. #CleanEats
Want to eat healthily? More power to you!
But don't pretend that sticking ham between a cucumber is the same as eating a sandwich or that an apple with an 'M' carved into it will fool you into believing you're eating McDonald's chips.
You're lying to us and you're lying to yourself.
