Monday 8 March, 2021
This week, the (Not) Primate of All Ireland tries to avoid being influenced by the arrival of a ‘maverick’ priest who wants him to be nice to gay people and for clerics to be able to marry.
This week, the (not) primate of All Ireland recalls the terrible events after Ardfillan won the county final: ““The whole team went into the dressing room, roaring and shouting like apes. Then they put on all the hair dryers…”
What happens when two rival live Passion Plays collide? This and the other Easter Weekend happenings from the (not) Primate of All Ireland.
This week, the (Not) Primate of All Ireland and his pals worry about levies, escaped convicts… and spiked lemonade.
This week, the not Primate of All Ireland recounts the anguish of the Mahon report – especially the bit where he tried to download it.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland, shares some previously unpublished excerpts from a life of St Patrick… by his manservant Bran.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland worries about the support of the Tories and Fianna Fáil for gay marriage but finds a new champion in a Scottish colleague – and relief in Winning Streak.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland investigates the full extent of Inkgate – and finds out about Richard Bruton’s addiction to novelty erasers…
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland tracks his colleague’s ‘progress’ with his sponsored fast – including an awkward incident with a chocolate Swiss roll…
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland went to a Reclaim the Faith Conference. It was all going to be suitably pious – until the hotel was double-booked with a sci-fi convention…
The (not) Primate of All Ireland reflects on a difficult few days in which the Bishops battled over the right type of biscuit (and the closure of the Vatican embassy too).
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland and his colleagues ruminate on multicultural Ireland and embrace the “great big melting pot our little island has become”.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland brings us all the gossip from behind the scenes at the World Economic Forum where he was on the “non-tokenistic spiritual sub-committee”.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland is disappointed that RTÉ’s new show does not have “a vigilante bishop roaming the streets of LA dispensing ‘God’s justice’.”
The (not) Primate of All Ireland readies himself for a year of cultural gems like Fr Gerry O’Shea’s one-man avant-garde production, ‘I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About, Sure Everything Is Grand’.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland observes a morale-building exercise, complete with assault course and Dr James Reilly’s speech-giving techniques.
The Pope’s stunt double, liveblogging the British royal wedding, a politican and an inflatable penis – good times, my flock, good times.
This Christmas Eve, the (not) Primate of All Ireland brings his specially-extended version of the tale of The Three Wise Men… and an aubergine.
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland reflects on a difficult few days in which the clerics lost a Brother and almost gained a God particle.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland reflects on the needy and vulnerable of Ireland, including members of Government who now have to subsist on only several thousand euro a week…
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland discusses real money, imaginary money and potential money – with the aid of a chicken, a puppy and a goat.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland gets with the guidelines and indulges in a touch of “positive discrimination” when hiring for the clerical household.
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland is caught up in #Occupy fever – and decides to #Occupy Jim Sheridan’s €7,000-a-month rented house.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland contemplates the usefulness of looking on the bright side. Incessantly.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland finds that a certain article about “the gays” could become an “ideological springboard” for him and his clerical pals.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland was torn between the Bertie interview and a Steven Seagal movie on TV – and learned that the two men are not as far apart as you would think…
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland copes with the break-up of the wholesome group Boyslife – and the reunion of the Stone Roses.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland rubbed shoulders with the likes of Bono, Enda Kenny, Eamon Gilmore and Gabriel Byrne to learn three very important things…
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland has to intervene when his troops split over supporting Gay Mitchell or Dana in the Presidential race. “Fr Ryan blacks out some of Gay’s teeth on a poster…”
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland has a house guest – a bearded young man who wears sandals and speaks in Biblical tones. It couldn’t be… could it?
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland is greeted by the Martin McGuinness supporters – but it all goes terribly wrong…
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland brings the priests on their annual pilgrimage to the Mayo shrine. But is one of his clerical flock tempted by a (not ‘Our’) Lady?
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland talks us through his typical day – it’s not all smiling at old ladies and driving around in the mini, you know.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland blesses a new hotel for old pal and ex-Fianna Fáil TD Mattie O’Moore – and learns a little about humility and the value of the JobBridge scheme.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland heads to Madrid to see his Holiness work the crowd and find his inner rock star.
The (not) Primate of All Ireland documents his efforts to make ends meet – with a little help from David Hasselhoff…
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland writes that (not) Bishop Brady is upset to discover that the man who hosted the ‘Bishop and the nightie’ debate could be running for the Áras.
This week, the (not) Primate of All-Ireland details the trials of the recent Reek Sunday – where fun has started to ruin the penitential tradition beloved of (not) Bishop Brophy.
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland has to play peacekeeper in the terrible row over Morrissey: “an undisputed genius” or “a big mountain of stupid”?
This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland embarks on the annual parish pilgrimage… but will everyone get home safely?
