AN ACTUAL STUDY has been released today that says single people are just as happy as people in relationships.
Well, obviously. There are many undeniable reasons for this:
1. The magical possibility of the shift is always in the air on a night out
2. You don’t have to listen to someone else’s f***ing alarm every morning
“It’s not my time to be awake. Why am I awake? Oh yes, their alarm is on to its sixth snooze.”
^every person in a relationship, ever.
3. You are not tied to watching shows on Netflix with someone (who is never there when you’re on to the next episode)
Those in a relationship know the pain of wanting to watch the next episode, but the SO is nowhere to be seen.
4. Your bed is spacious heaven every single night
No stray elbows.
5. Grooming is your call, and it pretty much impacts on nobody else
“No, I won’t shave today. And literally nobody will know or care.”
6. Sharing food is great, sure. But you can choose when and where that happens
Yes, with friends in a restaurant is fine. But you’re under no obligation to share your sweet, sweet food with anyone at home.
And it’s wonderful.
7. In fact, pizza toppings are not a consultation topic for you
No halfsies with shite you would never put near a pizza.
You have no compromise on the important food groups.
8. You simply get to avoid awkward chats with potential in-laws
‘Judgement Day’ is for relationship people only.
9. You’re free to scroll through Tinder, even if you’re not even going to date anyone
It’s a menu of people. Swiping through it is just fun.
*swipes right*
10. Planning a night out requires little to no effort
“Drinks?”
“Yeah!”
And it’s done.
11. That awkward feeling after shifting somebody inappropriate is yours to savour
The true taste of FREEDOM.
