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Last night's Deception: Hatstands, baked beans and the worst sex ever

Oh, and someone faking their own death. Here’s how it went down.

Image: TV3

LAST NIGHT’S DECEPTION arrived like a slightly creepy Santa Claus, ploughing through the evening schedule with a bag of unlikely plot developments and shedding minor characters at every turn.

But that’s why we like it, right? Episode four was focused on the home of Larry and Rose Joyce, the cantankerous couple who (thus far) have mainly been restricted to complaining about the antics of local teenagers.

Not for long, because it’s about to get REAL, Deception-style. Here’s how it went down:

1. The inexplicable air freshener

“What were you thinking, Larry?” curses Rose, as she frantically douses their living room in Alpine Meadow. We have no idea what has happened. Has he had a toilet accident? Did they eat cabbage for dinner last night? Does his V-neck sweater need a wash?

We will never learn. That, my friends, is Deception.

2. Troy, Friend of Negative Equity

Just as they’re about to successfully sell their house to a nice young couple, teenage dirtbag Troy storms out of the gaff next door and shouts at the potential buyers:

Are you looking at me? GEEBAG!

Then he kicks a bin over.

Er, guess we’ll be hanging on to the place then.

3. Larry’s all at sea

We’re treated to a selection of poignant scenes of Larry’s apparent mental deterioration. First he goes and stares at the sea (because he’s ALL AT SEA) and then he goes to the doctor and can’t spell ‘World’ backwards.

As if that wasn’t enough, we then discover that he’s got shares in Anglo Irish Bank, shortly before he utters the immortal line:

THEY’RE PULLING DEAD BODIES OUT OF THE SHOWHOUSE!

Has anything good EVER happened to Larry?

We’re treated to a sad sequence of him walking into the sea, and the next thing we see is:

Sad face.

4. The Woes of Michael

Michael has been furrowing his brow throughout, naturally. But the disappearance of his grandfather naturally dials up the intensity:

And his problems are about to get worse, because the love of his life – that’s neighbour Emma, if you haven’t been keeping up – is doing THIS with their sleazy mutual acquaintance Owen:

It looks like the least fun you could ever possibly have in a bedroom.

The pink fuzzy blanket really ups the creepiness factor, doesn’t it? And also Owen’s smug face:

You just wouldn’t.

5. THE PLOT THICKENS

Michael arrives home to find Rose with two teacups and Larry’s pipe on the table. She says “I just miss him”.

Michael concludes (we presume) that Rose is losing it. Being a good guy, he’s sympathetic, and suggests…

6. The worst party of all time

They have a party to “celebrate Larry’s life”. Everything is wrong with it.

First of all, Colleen was invited. She is always miserable (see below, right).

And to make it worse, Emma happens by to say:

Have you met my mum? She’s a lesbian now.

Then, Dara Baker pours himself a massive drink…

And launches into a slurry speech…

…explaining how Larry Joyce was an “insufferable prick” and “everybody hated him”.

Which is awkward, because:

LARRY WAS IN THE ATTIC ALL ALONG, LISTENING.

7. Larry’s ‘Life In Hiding Montage’

This makes Larry the second person to have faked his own death, in the course of four 40-minute-without-the-ads episodes. Which is surely some kind of Irish TV record. If nothing else, TV3 have that.

Anyway, after Larry has a moan about his own funeral party (I know, right?), we’re treated to an excellent musical montage of his life in hiding.

It’s basically one long whirl of attic chats:

Wearing slippers all the time:

Eating beans. Hope Rose brought her air freshener:

And furtively brushing his teeth:

But it’s no good…

8. Splitsville, Co Galway

After subjecting Larry to the ultimate indignity by burning his breakfast…

… Rose tells him she’s sick of his living-in-the-attic lies, reveals that he was lying to the doctors about having Alzheimers, and tells him she’s leaving.

Then she has a heart attack on the lawn.

Nothing is ever simple in Deception, is it?

9. The amazing transforming car

Earlier in the episode, Larry and Rose pulled into the driveway in a silver Audi:

It has now become a silver Toyota:

The magic of showbiz, eh?

10. Heeeeeere’s Larry!

Seeing his wife being taken away in an ambo brings Larry to his senses. He breaks out of his self-imposed prison with a hatstand:

And hightails it to the hospital in his slippers, causing sleazy Owen to react with the International Sign Language for “Holy Jesus, I’m surprised by what happened just now.”

That’s chucking his coffee on the ground:

11. Busted

After spinning Michael a tale about memory loss and how he “went to Dublin” for the last few days rather than hid in the attic eating baked beans, Larry goes for a nice pipe in the garden.

Sadly, Michael finds the evidence. But this simply gives Larry the opportunity to win the coveted Acting Face of the Episode prize with this representation of “Oh my God, my grandson has just discovered I faked my own death”:

Pretty embarrassing.

See you next week!

Deception episode 2: Bullying, stabbing and amazing angry faces>

More: 11 reasons why you should be watching Deception>

About the author:

Michael Freeman

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