MANY PEOPLE WILL remember Christmas 2017 as the year selection boxes went extremely downhill. Fudge, Curly Wurly and Chomp all got the boot, to make room for a tiny Doubler Decker, a Wispa and a Dairy Milk Oreo.
The Curly Wurly, Fudge and Chomp all acted as palate cleansers between the proper chocolate. Now, the selection box is almost comprised of ONLY proper chocolate – with only a Crunchie and a Double Decker to break things up a bit.
People weren’t happy.
A young man on Reddit named Lee wrote a letter for the nation’s favourite chocolate producer, telling them that we will not idly stand by as the Curly Wurly is neglected.
He began:
I write to you this evening with a considerable amount of beef, however this issue is rectifiable as I have also come to yo u with an out of the park completely 100% legit authentic original idea; but you’ll have to read until the end #NoSpoilers.
Aww. Let’s move on quickly so we can find out what that spoiler is. Lee told Cadbury that every Sunday from 1996 to 2006, he enjoyed a Curly Wurly after Sunday mass. He counted at least 520 Curly Wurly bars that he had consumed over this period, and described the experience of eating each one as “more sacred and possibly more blessed than any Eucharist that passed [his] lips”.
Every Christmas morning, when he received his selection box, he would swap his packet of Buttons for his sister’s Curly Wurly. It was a tradition. A tradition that died in the harsh winter of 2017.
Missing from my selection box was the Curly Wurly, brutally replaced by a younger, sexier bar.
We’re looking at you, Oreo Dairy Milk.
I held my tongue when the Curly Wurly was halved in size. I remained silent when the price multiplied. This however, is an absolute outrage and I for one cannot and will not stand for it.
He then went on to offer Cadbury a chance to redeem themselves:
I have a way you can make this up to me. The Curly Wurly Easter Egg. A large Curly Wurly in the shape of an egg.
Lee backed up his idea with reference to a poll he ran on his Twitter followers. 69% of them were in favour of it, while only 31% were not feeling the idea. Many of the people who spotted Lee’s post on Reddit believed it was actually a pretty good idea. Some of them even theorized whether one could be made at home:
We’ll just have to wait and see if Cadbury like Lee’s idea.
