Source: Shutterstock

If Irish babies were named after the reason they were conceived...


WITH THE RELEASE of the most popular baby names in Ireland in 2017, we at got thinking back to this tweet.

It inspired us to imagine what Irish kiddies would be called if parents were brutally honest about their existence on earth. So without further ado, here’s 9 honest Irish families:

Source: Conal McSweeney

Hey, Monthly-Missionary, I need you to babysit What-Happens-At-Electric-Picnic-Does-Not-Always-Stay-At-Electric-Picnic while I go to the off licence.

Source: Shutterstock

No! Night-The-Electric-Blanket-Was-Broken, stop eating spaghetti out of the bin, you and Breastfeeding-Is-Not-A-Failproof-Method-Of-Contraception have already brushed your teeth.

Source: Niall Carson

Hey, St.-Patrick’s-Day, you have to share your popcorn with your two brothers Losing-The-Run-Of-Myself-In-The-Galway-Tent and Trying-For-A-Girl.

Source: RTE

For God’s Sake, One-Night-Stand-From-New-Year’s-Eve-In-Dingle, stop taking Efficacy-of-the-Pill-is-Reduced-by-the-Use-of-Antibiotics’ toys! I am trying to feed Storm-Ophelia!

Source: Green Party

Look, Sex-Education-In-This-Country-Is-A-Joke-And-Given-By-Nuns, you’re the one who asked for a little brother so stop complaining about That-Time-The Government-Legalised MDMA playing with your toys.

Source: Shutterstock

Hey, Pressure-To-Produce-A-Grandchild, please help I-Think-He-Needs-A-Sibling-He’s-Getting-Really-Weird to tie her shoelaces whilst I change Mid-Life-Crisis’ nappy.

Source: PA Images

The problem with our family is that poor little Complete-Surprise-At-44 gets ganged up on by Ireland’s-2009-Grand-Slam-Victory and The-Great-Snow-Of-December-2010.

Source: Shutterstock

My eldest daughter People-Won’t-Stop-Asking-Us-When-We’re-Having-A-Baby is 12 tomorrow; almost old enough to babysit That-Wake-Got-Out-Of-Hand, Oh-God-I-Thought-We-Said-Two-Was-Enough and Just-The-Tip.

Source: Copper Face Jacks

Hey, Coppers-After-Donegal-Beat-Mayo-In-The-All-Ireland, tell Birthday-Cocktails and My-Biological-Clock-Was-Ticking that it’s time for dinner.

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