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oh marty

The real star of the Eurovision? That would be Marty Whelan's Twitter account

Move over, Conchita.

CONCHITA WURST MAY have won the Eurovision, and sparked an internet-wide beard movement.

But in all honesty, the best thing about the whole contest was Marty Whelan’s Twitter account. Why? Because of all this:

He smiled charmingly in front of a gyrating man-crotch.

He told awesomely bad Dad Jokes.

He collected free gifts from former Eastern bloc countries.

And Scandinavia, by the looks of things.

He related his bathroom needs.

In fact, he sometimes even COMBINED toilet tweets and dad jokes.

(Judging by this picture, he was five flights of scaffolding steps away from the nearest toilet.)

He hung out with his pals.

And his other pals.

He was gracious in defeat.

And he is now considering his future.

Marty Whelan’s Twitter account for Eurosong 2015.

More: Conchita Wurst’s beard is taking over the internet>

More: Conchita vows to fight for tolerance, as thousands turn out for Austria homecoming>

More: Eurovision 2014 as it happened: Johnny Logan, beards, and glorious Conchita>

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