ADMIT IT, YOU’VE been guilty of putting ‘going to the cinema’, ‘second year class prefect’ and ‘babysitting’ on your CV, haven’t you?
You’re not alone.
Here in DailyEdge.ie and TheJournal.ie Towers we’ve had some CV zingers in our time, and we’ve graciously decided to share them with you…
Irish dancing medals
I won them between the ages of four and ten. I don’t know why I thought any employer would be impressed. Unless they were a bit of a twinkle toes themselves.
Junior Traffic Warden
I won a junior traffic warden award two years on the trot. It definitely went on the CV. I was a pretty big deal in the junior traffic warden world there for a bit.
First Aid Course
I was told in transition year that it would be great on the CV.
I put down ‘Gymnastics – Uneven bar for seven years’. Why I thought that would be useful for my first job in Eddie Rockets is beyond me. Not even sure they even knew what an uneven bar was.
I’m sure I made reference to my Leicester Celtic ‘Most Improved Player’ award at some point. Still raging I didn’t get Player of the Season – I was unbelievable that year!
White water rafting ‘qualification’
I went white water rafting once, on holiday in Austria. You were strapped to a boat and told to try not to die. Afterwards they gave you a made up certificate. Onto the CV it went: ‘White Water Rafting – Grade One’.
‘Put on an Elliott Smith tribute night’
Sounds like I was hoping a fellow music nerd would hire me to alphabetise their CD collection… but I was applying for retail jobs in Galway.
Order of Malta
I had stuff like: “3rd place Junior Girl Individual in Dublin for first aid” and “2nd place footdrill champions for all of Ireland”. (footdrill = marching). Why someone would want to hire someone because they could march is beyond me.
Under interests/hobbies I put “freewheeling downhill”.
I was Hockey Secretary in my school, which they made sound like a really good thing to be. But really I just had to arrange every hockey match for all 15 teams. That definitely went on my CV, probably until I was 25.
Now it’s your turn. Time to share the whoppers you’ve had on your CV in your day, from ‘dog walking’ to ‘socialising with friends’…