IT’S THE NEW year. Are you feeling a touch… lethargic? As if you may have slightly overindulged?
Are you feeling as if perhaps you should eat healthily for a while?
We’re here to help. To that end, we have compiled the world’s most artery-clogging food. Read this article and you won’t be able to so much as imagine a chipper dinner until at least St Patrick’s Day.
1. The Doughnut Burger
Yes, that is a burger with cheese and bacon, sandwiched between two Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Available at the Miami-Dade fair.
2. Cheeseburger-crusted pizza
EXEC 1: How can we make these pizzas more appealing?
EXEC 2: Um… by making the crust from numerous tiny cheeseburgers, so they sit around the pie like parasitic cells?
EXEC 2: You get a promotion.
Available at Pizza Hut, but for some reason only in the Middle East.
YouTube/Pizza Hut Middle East
3. Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Why not have some chocolate sauce on that?
Purchased at the State Fair of Texas in Dallas, 2010.
4. Fried Chicken Burger Bun
Otherwise known as KFC’s Double Down Sandwich. To quote the marketing material: “This product is so meaty, there’s no room for a bun!”
5. Deep Fried Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
Do they need deep-frying? Do they? Really?
6. And for dessert, a Bacon Sundae
Now at Burger King.
If that doesn’t put you onto the fruit and vegetables for the next 30 days or so, what will? You can thank us later.