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Dublin: 11 °C Friday 29 March, 2024
harsh reality

Halloween as a kid, expectations versus reality

Free sweets and silly costumes, yay!

HALLOWEEN IS AN anticipated event for kiddies everywhere. When else do you get to dress up as something cool and eat loads of sweets? Maybe your birthday, at a push.

But sometimes things just don’t turn out as you’d like.

Costumes

You left your mum or dad plenty of time to make your superhero or Disney princess costume. Surely, surely it’ll turn out as well as you’re expecting.

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But do they follow through? Unless it involves a black sack and a mask bought in Tuthills, it’s probably not gonna happen.

Oh well, you can always be a raisin.

raisin Heavy.com Heavy.com

Decorations

What’ll the neighbours think?

outdoor-spider-halloween Home dit Home dit

Well, rocks are nature’s decorations.

3rj0x9 Quckmeme Quckmeme

Face paint

You imagine super realistic, gorey interpretations of whatever you’re going to be.

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In reality… white face paint equals ghostly.

homer-makeup-shotgun-o Gifsoup Gifsoup

Snacks

You’ll be drowning in fresh-baked novelty cakes and biscuits like on all the shows.

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Whatever, it all tastes the same.

fingers Pinstrosity Pinstrosity

Trick or treating

There will be more sugar than you can shove into your hyper little mouth.

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At least a third of your haul was usually monkey nuts or God forbid, fruit. We know it’s Halloween and all, but must people be such monsters? We almost preferred the houses that turn off the lights and pretended they weren’t in.

nuts Shutterstock Shutterstock

Pumpkin carving

The pumpkin is a huge and essential part of Halloween. You’re not allowed carve it without parental supervision but being let loose with a permanent marker and that smooth orange surface was a joy in itself. Witness art being born.

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Done. We’re done. We don’t even like pumpkin anyway.

pumpkinfail Funnyjunk Funnyjunk

Fireworks

You hope for Disney but Dad’s stall-bought shower are just as effective…

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Translate to a load of banging, barking dogs and terrified running when it all goes astray and shoots across the grass.

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Party games

Bopping for apples, snap apple, pas the apple, apple paring… here what’s with apples and Halloween, actually?

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Not only is bopping for apples now a massive health hazard, your face gets drenched and your bad Halloween make-up gets even worse. There is no justice in this world.

bobbing for apples Flickr / .Pete. Flickr / .Pete. / .Pete.

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