1. One time, someone casually took a chip from your plate. You’ve never forgiven them
As brazen as you like! And not a WORD to you about it.
2. Since then, you have developed catlike food reflexes
3. The “Just ONE bit?” people are the worst of all, though
These people are flat out ignoring your hard ‘no’, and they should not be trusted.
4. Sometimes you relent, and your trust is broken even further
You said they could take ONE. That is clearly a handful. *inhales sharply*
5. Your best friends are the people who understand that they should not do any of these things
They don’t ask for any of your food, you don’t ask for any of theirs, and everyone is happy.
6. And your significant other was warned early on
Just because we’re shifting doesn’t mean you have unlimited access to my chips.
7. You’re suspicious of anyone who compliments your meal
“Mmm, that looks lovely.”
You:
8. You despise anyone who suggests going for tapas
The whole idea is to share. You’re not sure if you can get around that.
9. And if you get roped into it, you keep an eye on all food consumed
Am I going to eat my fill? Will all this sharing result in an empty stomach? That’s not on.
10. You laugh when people try to reason with you by saying ‘You couldn’t possibly eat all that yourself’
WATCH ME.
11. You’ve been called ‘selfish’ and ‘immature’ more times than is fair
To be labelled selfish for protecting what is yours? Fine!
12. But you’ll never go hungry, that’s for sure
No. Because you’re always looking out for number one (your stomach).
