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Dublin: 13 °C Friday 17 August, 2018
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Irish people, it is time to stop using the word 'jizz' to mean 'get up and go'

Gerry Adams announced today in the Dáil that he would miss Enda Kenny’s ‘jizz’. He did.

resig Source: YouTube

THERE’S NO DELICATE way of saying this, so we’re just going to have to come out with it: Irish people, it’s time to retire our formerly innocent slang term, ‘jizz’.

In older, more pure times, ‘jizz’ was kind of a catch-all term for ‘spirit’, ‘enthusiasm’ or ‘get up and go’ - ’jizz it up’ could be interchanged pretty comfortably with ‘jazz it up’.

Today, for obvious reasons, this does not fly so easily.

Most people will already understand this, of course – but some of our politicians have yet to get the memo, as this was uttered today in the Dáil by Gerry Adams:

Yeah, Gerry Adams is going to miss Enda Kenny’s jizz. Which is great to know.

Fine Gael’s Gerry O’Connell came out with something similar during the party’s electoral race recently:

Lads, this is just not on in the Year of Our Lord 2017. You can’t say you’re going to miss the former Taoiseach’s ‘jizz’ and expect people to keep a straight face any more.

Leinster House Christmas lights You'll miss my WHAT? Source: PA Archive/PA Images

For quite some time now, this has been causing uncomfortable situations in schools:

At work:

And with families.

So let this be a message to politicians and teachers and grannies and mams across the country: ‘Jizz’ does not mean ‘spirit’ or ‘get up and go’ any more. It’s time to find a new word. Our deepest apologies.

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