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Dublin: 18 °C Wednesday 26 September, 2018
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10 truly Irish ways of blowing people off

“Don’t let me keep you!” = “END THIS CONVERSATION NOW.”

WE’VE ALL BEEN trapped in a conversation where it seems like there’s no easy way out.

But finally, New York Magazine has found a way to politely exit a conversation without hurting the other person’s feelings.

Simply utter these eight words:

Great talking to you. I’ll see you soon.

Now that’s all well and good if you’re a confident, forthright American.

But for us terminally awkward Irish people, we might have to rely on our old reliable methods of blowing people off.

Like…

1. Pretending to have to go to the bathroom

chat Source: Flickr

What you say: ”Excuse me, I’m just going to go to the bathroom.”

What you mean: “You seem very nice, so I can’t be rude here. But I also can’t talk to you about your Masters anymore, so I’m just going to pretend to use the bathroom.”

2. Making up a reason to go into a different room and saying “I’ll be back to you!”

giphy (13) Source: Giphy

What you say: “I just have to go in here for a… drink. But I’ll be back to you!”

What you mean: “I will in my hoop be back to you.”

3. Acting like you’re holding them up

leave you Source: Flickr

What you say: ”Sure, I’ll leave you go!”

What you mean: “I’m not holding you hostage or anything, but I’m going to be brave and end this conversation before we end up just standing on the street, nodding at each other.”

4. Practically pleading with them to let you leave them go

keep Source: Flickr

What you say: “Oh God, what am I like? Don’t let me keep you any longer!”

What you mean: “I tried to ‘leave you go’ but you didn’t take the hint, so now I’m resorting to this.”

5. Doing a kind of jog and acting like you’re in a major rush

Bolt_Endof100m_original_original

What you say: “Hi! How are you? Can’t stop, just legging it somewhere now!”

What you mean: “I’m literally going to Boots to see if my shampoo is on offer, but I don’t want to get sucked into a conversation. Sorry!”

6. Looking down at your phone as you pass an acquaintance

9c644220-37b8-0133-3aa6-0a67ec7fcf67 Source: Bustle

What you say: “[pretends to be sending very important text message just as you walk past notoriously chatty acquaintance]”

What you mean: “I can’t even see the screen on my phone because it’s so sunny. I just don’t want to talk to you and I’ll deny I ever saw you if you put this to me later.”

7. Focusing really hard on the middle distance and pretending you’re in a world of your own

giphy (12) Source: ReactionGIFS

What you say: “[looks right past person's head, contemplates all the things on to-do list, etc.]

What you mean: “I didn’t have my phone to hand, so I’m resorting to a good old-fashioned blanking.”

8. Saying something vague that the other person simply can’t respond to

flick Source: Flickr

What you say: “Sure, look it. This is it.”

What you mean: “We’ve exhausted this topic and I’m tired. Can you just ‘leave me go’ or whatever?”

9. Literally just leaving without saying bye

7f44a368e99dae8cbca570201112085c Source: Pinterest

What you say: “[slips out of conversation huddle while the other people are distracted]”

What you mean: “I have no manners, YOLO.”

10. And finally… saying “Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye”

giphy (14) Source: Reddit

What you say: “Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.”

What you mean: “We’re done here. Do not contact me again.”

18 things Irish people just love to moan about >

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About the author:

Amy O'Connor

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