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Dublin: 12 °C Thursday 18 September, 2014

Can’t sleep in ‘this weather’? Here’s why…

I’m ROASTING!

WE’LL TRY NOT to jinx it because this might be the only summer Ireland has, but the good weather sure does come with its pitfalls.

Besides sunburn, burning your arse on the car seat, and making a balls of the BBQ, there’s also the problem of trying to get some kip in these insane temperatures.

Legs in, or legs out?

Usually if you’re too warm sticking one leg out will regulate your body temperature sufficiently to ensure that a good sleep is had.

Of course, there is always The Fear…

In the middle of an Irish summer though (when it could be as hot as TEN DEGREES at night), you might need to consider sticking both feet out or – and this is taking it to extremes – kicking off the blanket altogether.

Five minutes later… you’ll be freezing. You can’t win.

To cuddle or not to cuddle?

STOP BREATHING ON MY NECK. I’M ROASTING!

There’s also a reversal of the duvet politics where you want the other person to take it all, and they won’t.

Window open or window closed?

If you close the window, you risk suffocation in these tropical temperatures.

If you leave it open, you have to put up with traffic noise/drunken oafs on the street/ farmyard animals bleating, or the worst of all… winged creatures entering your sanctuary.

Daddy Long Legs

All of that guff about Daddy Long Legs being the most poisonous creatures on earth, if only they had the fangs is untrue.

However, if they get into your room at night they will crash around for hours, instilling a terror that they will end up in your open gob.

Image: Shutterstock.com

Moths

At least if the light is on you can tell where they are.

Where do they go when the light goes off?

Image: Flickr/Creative Commons/Anthony Topper

Midges

If you dare to leave the window open and the light on, even for the shortest amount of time, Marty the Midge will throw a party in your bedroom and invite all of his friends.

There’s no cold side of the pillow

No matter how many times you flip it…

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