NOW THAT THE current crop of freshers have settled into colleges across the country, new students are getting to grips with this next stage of their lives.
While every person’s experience of college is different, one thing is guaranteed for all - you will meet most of the following people.
The person who’s involved in everything
Students’ Union, clubs, societies, working for the college as a student ambassador…these people are tireless, and at some point you’ll start to wonder how they handle it all along with their lectures.
Then you find out they’re failing, and it will all make sense.
The person who’s involved in nothing
At the opposite end of the spectrum, these people come in to lectures and then they go straight home.
They don’t try to make friends, and look pained whenever a lecturer suggests group work.
The mature student
Some, not all, mature students sit down the front of the lecture room. Some like to ask a ton of questions. Some like to argue with the lecturer or another student.
To reiterate: some, not all.
The people who rent the “party house”
These generally fall into two categories: the people who chose to have the party house, and the people who had the party house thrust upon them.
The former are more likely to happily live in party debris for the week after the party, the latter will try to clean up as they go along and worry incessantly about the guards calling.
The person who never leaves the “party house”
These are not the same people who LIVE in the party house. These are the people who just never go back to their own home, and are always in party mode.
The student politician
Usually seen in the student hub handing out leaflets, wearing ill-fitting party t-shirts, and generally being really enthusiastic about their party’s policies. Can often be cajoled into arguing with each other on student radio.
The student journalist
They run around a lot. Why? Because they’ve got a newspaper going to print, or a radio show about to air, and if they don’t get where they need to go, well…nothing will happen really. But it’s nice to feel important.
Earning big cups for the college’s trophy case gives them a sort of immunity against the shabbiness of college life, and some are revered like demi-gods. Usually seen with a protein shake and their gear bag, on the way to and from the gym.
These people somehow manage to be more broke than everyone else.
If anyone offers round a plate of chips they’re not able to finish, you can be sure this person will jump on them quicker than you can say: “Get away ye scab.”
The serial repeater
Can be linked to the person who’s involved in everything. This is their third time doing second year, but not to worry. They’ll put the head down this time, they promise.